Saturday, 27 August 2016

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J Summary (7Y5M22D): Piano Practice Challenge

I got upset with J during piano practice this evening. He pulled a long sour face, and had a bad attitude clearly seen from his body language and played really sloppily. I felt really disrespected. Just then, Baby C cried and that provided a natural break and allowed me to cool down. I had a talk with him after that. I told him that it wasn't so important that he could play everything, but that his poor attitude was really upsetting. It didn't moved an inch. He started sighing. I stopped talking. I just hugged him and held him close without saying any words.

A while later, he said, "Mom, let's go downstairs and play the piano." And he played with a good attitude.

All my talk earlier was taken as reprimand, but the hug actually made him change his attitude. I guess all he needed was a hug and his love tank is filled up. Carrot works better than stick for J. I have to remember that next time.

I felt disrespected and he felt unloved. The hug and holding him close broke this vicious cycle, restoring the love and respect between us. I have to remember this.

This reminded me of what was explained in the book "Love & Respect in the Family" played out in the incident today.


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