Sunday, 16 June 2013


JN Summary - Tea Time with JN and J

I agree very much with Madelyn Swift, the author of "Discipline for Life: One Step At A Time":

"Nothing is more important or meaningful than bringing up emotionally whole and healthy, happy children."

And this is what I aspire to do. This is what I am trying to do. Yet it can be emotionally challenging to nurture children from dysfunctional homes, to earn their trust, to be allowed into their worlds and to draw them out. And the older the child is, the more difficult and uphill the task. They have a very fragile heart.

My heart bleeds as I see my nephews and nieces going through it. I feel for them, as I feel generation pains repeating itself in the next generation. All that I am today, I would not be here, if not for Jesus. It is a whole testimony by itself, which I will not share here. But our God is a great and mighty God. I will commit them into my prayers. As God allows me to experience this, my heart goes out to the orphans. They are alone in this world, trying to figure out life on their own... oh God, You must feel for them.

Back in 2011, I wrote in one of my posts about Conversation Starters with children. I tried to use that in Singapore, we sat at a restaurant, but it didn't quite succeed.

More prayers are needed... I should not give up.

I tried to bring up the Conversation Starters, when we went for a walk, but it didn't quite succeed.

More prayers are needed... I should not give up.

JN is here to visit me. I took out my Conversation Starters again.

We went for a walk at the lake. I got to draw JN out a little. But the progress was slow.

More prayers are needed... I should not give up.

We tried to find somewhere to sit down in the cruise ship, but it didn't quite succeed. Mostly one-liners answer, actually, more yes, no reply.

More prayers are needed... I should not give up.

I cried for my nephews and nieces. I cried to God for them. Something happened when you seek God ernestly.

I had wanted to have tea time with JN. It was J who initiated it today.

I had this idea of trying out a game with the list of conversation starters. I told JN, we each get to ask the other person a question. It proceeded on very comfortably. JN started to come up with the rules of the game: The one who cannot answers would have to climb the stairs 10 times. I can do that. It is good exercise. It breaks the ice.

We had a great time. I got to know JN better. I didn't get one-liners answers. It was also interesting to hear his replies. I got to know him better. I got to know his environment better. I got to know his friends in the new school better. I got to know that his passion and the areas that he would like to explore as career options are Chef and Designer. As I have guessed, he would not like to work in an office (and I have showed him my office).

It is not exactly heart-to-heart talk, but we are coming closer. And I am sowing the seeds to win the trust.

I thank God for His help. It is a thanksgiving and a testimony to His faithfulness. The problems and challenges ahead are tremendous, and I am not talking about the ADHD part. But there is nothing impossible for God. God allows it, He will use it for His glory.

But I am such an imperfect person and ill-equipped for parenting and raising emotionally whole and healthy children. How do we raise emotionally whole and healthy children? How can we do it when we are so broken ourselves? Yet, it is God who made us whole. And thus we can go forth to raise emotionally whole and healthy children, with the confidence that God provides. It is not with our own strength, least we boast. But it is with the strength of God, and to God's glory.

I am tired, but I know God will enable me. I will continue to pray. Yet, our hope is in God, that He will continue to use imperfect people like us, and through it all, help us to grow too as a person.

And to J, thanks for initiating the tea time today.

I want to share with you this very good book that I am reading. It contains a lot of wisdom and is biblical. I will continue to pray, and take active steps to read and apply what I learn.

As Magdelene Swift puts it, "We are touching lives" and we are touching lives one step at a time. It is important that we take it with a great dose of sense of humor. It is important that we take it seriously. It is important that we do it well, albeit one step at a time, as what we are doing has an eternal impact on a life.

The Bible tells us in Jeremiah 29:11:

“ “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ”

Updates 23 June 2013:
We had a break through late tonight. JN came to me to ask me what my job is like. He also asked me about BGR. It caught me by surprise. I had not been good with my answers and advice. More prayers needed. God, I need Your wisdom. 24 June 2013, we really connected heart-to-heart. I found words to express myself. He found words to express himself. As we talked we cried, all the pains he is going through. He cried. I cried for him. No words were needed.

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