Friday, 31 January 2014


Quality Time Needs Quantity Time to Appear

I am reading "What Kids Need MOST in a Mom" by Patricia H. Rushford. Some wisdom that I gleaned from it. It reminded that quality time cannot be planned. Mothering takes place. Full-stop. If I may be allowed to quote:

"You have planned the perfect outing and your kids tell you of their plans. Such premeditated plot tends to keep a parent's eyes focused on the time, not on the child. Special moments with a child come at the oddest moments, and the best way to capture them is to relax and let them happen. Sometimes, quality time comes when your mind is focused in an entirely different direction."

"Special moments are like seeds. They must be planted and watered before you can expect them to grow. Then be ready to stop and enjoy the flowers - when they come."

All too familiar I laugh to myself. Remember that special and expensive vacation that you have planned with your child set in perfect setting - clear blue sky, white snow cap, mountain top, deep blue sea? And all went sour and not so special afterall?

In short, quality time needs quantity time. When it happens, just make sure to seize it.

Personal learnings for me:

Being a highly efficient person not wanting to waste a dim of time, it is hard for me to do nothing. I am tempted to pack my day with a whole list of To-Dos, and ticking off each item. Even as I am now working part-time, there just isn't enough time in a day to do everything. I need to allow myself and tell myself that it is ok to drop some balls, to drop my To-Do list and seize the special moments. I need to go easy with the Montessori activities and the workbooks, and allow myself grace if they are not fitted within a day.

Oh blessed are those stay-at-home moms. They have the courage to go for what truely matters in life. They have the courage to give success a different definition against society's norm. And as a result, they are blessed with the quantity time to be there to catch the quality time and special moments with their children. What they have sacrificed in terms of income, professional positions in lives, etc. they have gotten back a 100 folds with the special memories made by being there and seizing the moments!

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