Diary of a Stay-At-Home-Mom

 

Navigating the dinner conversation at a dinner function…

Short version:

Before I left my job: Challenging… because I am an introvert.

After I left my job: No change, still challenging… oh well, even more challenging 😊

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Long Version:

Before I left my job…

The person sitting next to me: So where do you work?

Me: I work at the UN.

The person sitting next to me: Oh, you are in the business of creating world peace. What do you do there?

Me: We procure medicines and medical devices. More recently, I am into business process engineering and data management, making processes more efficient, reports more automated and analysis more... (before I can finish)

The person sitting next to me ask: Can you help me to get a job at the UN?

Me: Sure, here are the links where you can find all the job postings 😊

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After I left my job:

The person sitting next to me: So where do you work?

Me: I work at the UF.

The person sitting next to me: What is that?

Me: Erm… it’s a multinational company… 

If they probe further, I would say it’s a half-Danish and half-Singaporean company.

The person sitting next to me: What do you do there?

Me: I am the Project Site Manager, being on-site and making sure everything works… just like when you are renovating a house. And mediating the conflicts between the various, ahem… “sub-contractors” 😊

The person sitting next to me: What does it do?

Me: It’s in the business of construction, procurement, transportation and logistics, project budgeting, planning, organizing and management of events (with regards to playdates), education, nutrition and sustainable engineering (with regards to cleaning)… (cough, cough, sip water).

The person sitting next to me: Looks like your company is dabbling into many different businesses. Have your management thought of divesting some of the non-core business interests?

Me: Erm... no, no choice, no one to divest them to.

The person sitting next to me: So what kind of procurement do you do?

Me: I am in-charge of procuring… erm… household supplies 😊

The person sitting next to me: What kind of construction do you do?

Me: Right now, one of my projects is building (up) a home 😊

The person sitting next to me: So what’s your company vision, goal and direction?

Me: Erm... creating family peace 😊

The person sitting next to me: How big is the company?

Me: Erm… it consists of two owners… If they probe further, I would say… Daddy FECS and me.

The person sitting next to me: Oh I see, it is a family business. How many clients do you have?

Me:  Well, erm… just two… Little FECS and Baby FECS… 😊

At this point in the dinner conversation alright, alright… I am coming clean with it. I am a stay-at-home-mom 😅

Oven-Baked Easy Danish Fish Cakes (Fiskefrikadeller)

 

Serves 4

Ingredients:

1. 250g cod
2. 250g salmon
3. 1 egg
4. 1 TBS white wholewheat flour, corn starch or potato flour. 

5. 2 TBS piskefløde (cream)

6. 1 tsp salt
7. 6 turns black pepper mill
8. 2 TBS cooking oil (or you can use a mixture of butter and cooking oil)
9. Dill for garnish

Directions:

1. Cut fish into smaller pieces, putting a few bite-size of salmon aside.

2. Blend fish, egg, flour, salt and pepper blend in a food processor or blender. I use my Magimix blender for this.

3. Add the remaining salmon pieces and mix well.

4. Use an ice-cream scoop to form the mixture into fish cakes into an oven-proof dish.

5. Let them rest for 15-30 minutes in the fridge if you have the time.

6. Bake at 225 degree celsius for approx. 20 - 25 minutes, flipping over halfway through, if it is not evenly browned

Tips:

To keep them warm, you can put them in the oven at 80 degree celsius until you are ready to serve them.

Additional Information:

There is a slight, but noticeable difference using the cream or not using the cream. Using cream makes them a tard juicier.

My family could not taste the difference between pan-fried fish balls and oven-baked fish balls. So if I like to not have the bother to have to watch and flip fish balls on the pan, I will just bake them in the oven.

References:

https://marinasmad.com/fisk/fiskefrikadeller-sproede-bloede-og-laekre/

https://emmamartiny.dk/fiskefrikadeller/

https://madensverden.dk/fiskefrikadeller-ovn/

Diary of a Stay-At-Home-Mom

Dear Little FECS,

Each day, it dons on mommy that in 7 years’ time, mommy will be facing an empty nest. You are 11 years old now. You will leave home at that time when you reach 18 years old.

Time is so short. Only 7 years left...

For this reason, mommy is giving up a glamorous job at the UN, along with the money and the fat pension. And mommy is also giving up any tempting business opportunities that come our way. And thankful to daddy for giving mommy this opportunity to stay at home and to cut down on our standard of living.

But it’s still not easy. As you reach your teenage years, it’s not so easy for mommy to know how to bond with you. Being a Chinese who grew up in Singapore, mommy only knows how to ask you to learn your Chinese and practice your piano. 

Without the distraction of a job, mommy will now take this time to learn. Thank you for being such a good boy. Thank you for wanting still to be with mommy, yet being frustrated at mommy’s lack of ideas on how to spend time together. Yet you never give up. Every night before you sleep, you still say, “Mommy, I love you.”

Mommy keeps that in my heart. Let’s look forward to the next 7 years together, before you head out into the world, more and more on your own.

Love,

Mommy

Diary of a Stay-At-Home-Mom

 

Before: I tell people I work at the UN.

After: I tell people I work at the UF... and hopefully they don’t ask me what UF is 😂

UF - United Family 

There is more peace at home now... especially in the mornings 🤣

P.S. Well, I am still learning to do so with God's help. Not my strength, but His. Still making tons of mistakes here, which I am not very proud of.

"Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain" - Psalm 127:1

Diary of a Stay-At-Home-Mom

 

Before I quit my job: I woke up excitedly at 3 am to quickly jot down an idea in my head so that I will remember it when I go to the office in the morning.

After I quit my job: I still wake up at 3 am - to put that pot of chicken soup still standing on the stove into the fridge that I have forgotten for the umpteen times!!!  😂

C Summary (4y4m19d): New Preschool

 

A look back at the past two months... What a change in just two months of being in the new preschool from August and September, C's level of concentration, her language speech issue, her confidence to speak up and make friends, her initiative to play and follow-through until she succeeds, her passion for letters and numbers, her determination and persistence in completing things such as jigsaw puzzles and others on her own, and most importantly, her love and joy for learning, have all progressed at amazing speed. It’s the best decision we have ever made. 

In hindsight, if I have a chance to turn back the clock and do it all over again, I wished I have prioritized differently and quit my job long ago to send Joshua to this preschool when he was 3 years old. 

It took our family 9 years to come to this decision and to scale down on our living standards, but it is better late than never.

New Preschool, you are truly a God-sent.

C Summary (4Y4M20D): Sensitive Period for Jigsaw Puzzles

 

Baby FECS is into jigsaw puzzles right now. I think it is because she was inspired by her older classmates at the Montessori Preschool. She takes initiative to play jigsaw puzzles. She was very persistent and doesn't give up until she succeeds. She could figure them out usually all by herself, with the very occasional help for a piece of the puzzle. She did the jigsaw puzzles in the picture all by herself, except for one of the puzzles that she got help for one of the pieces.

J Summary (11Y7M0D): Elevrådsmøde

A special day for J in school today which he is excitedly looking forward to - Elevrådsmøde. J was noted in as elevrådsrepræsantant of his class. That's equivalent to being a prefect in Singapore, except that the student is elected by his class, rather than selected by the teacher. He was also elected as elevrådsrepræsantant of his class two years ago by his classmates.

Diary of a Stay-At-Home-Mom

The short version:

Before I quit my job: Takeaways, and more takeaways and… more expensive takeaways.

After I quit my job: Homecooked food at home

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The long version:

Before I quit my job: 

Little FECS: What takeaway sushi from Føtex Supermarket again? Mommy, I am tired of it. How about Letz Sushi for dinner?

A few days or weeks later…

Little FECS: What takeaway sushi from Letz Sushi again? I am tired of it. How about Stick ‘n’ Sushi for dinner? 

Mommy looking at Little FECS' eyes as convincingly as I could: It’s too expensive. Mommy has no money.

Little FECS: Don’t bluff, you worked 60 hours last week and got paid overtime. You have a lot of money, and also you have no time to spend them. Stick ‘n’ Sushi ok?

Mommy: Aaarrggghhh… tired and no surplus to teach or fight with our son.

On son’s birthday…

Mommy: Let’s celebrate at Sticks ‘n’ Sushi for your birthday this weekend.

Little FECS: What Stick ‘n’ Sushi again? Can we go somewhere more fanciful, please? We just had Stick ‘n’ Sushi for takeaway dinner last few nights, when you came back home late from work and didn’t have the time to cook.

Mommy: @@@@ What entitled children we are raising!!!

After I quit my job:

Little FECS: Can we eat Stick ‘n’ Sushi for dinner?

Mommy: No, mommy’s not working, we have no more money. Mommy will cook. We will have homecooked steam fish with broccoli for dinner 😊

Little FECS: Ok, ya, true, you don’t earn money anymore.

On a recent special occasion…

Mommy: Let’s celebrate at Sticks ‘n’ Sushi this weekend.

Little FECS: Yeh… hurray!!! Stick ‘n’ Sushi… it’s been so long since we last had it.

Mommy: @@@@ Hurray, good to have our contented and thankful son back 😊

"...give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread." - Proverbs 30:8

Diary of a Stay-At-Home-Mom

 

The short version:
 
Before I quit my job: We have 2 cars
 
After I quit my job: We have 1 car
 
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The long version:
Before I quit my job:
 
Day 1:
Mommy FECS: Darling, shall we watch a movie tonight?
Daddy FECS: Hmmm… have to go and wash my car… may not have the time.
 
Day 2:
Mommy FECS: Darling, shall we watch a movie tonight?
Daddy FECS: Hmmm… have to go and wash your car… may not have the time.
 
Day 3:
Mommy FECS: Darling, shall we watch a movie tonight?
Daddy FECS: Hmmm… have to go and send my car for inspection… may not have the time.
 
Day 4:
Mommy FECS: Darling, shall we watch a movie tonight?
Daddy FECS: Hmmm… have to go and send your car for inspection… may not have the time.
 
Day 5:
Mommy FECS: Darling, shall we watch a movie tonight?
Daddy FECS: Hmmm… have to go and pump petrol for my car… may not have the time.
 
Day 6:
Mommy FECS: Darling, shall we watch a movie tonight?
Daddy FECS: Hmmm… have to go and pump petrol for your car… may not have the time.
 
Day 7:
Mommy FECS: Darling, shall we watch a movie tonight?
Daddy FECS: Hmmm… have to go and repair the windshield for my car… may not have the time.
 
Day 8:
Mommy FECS: Darling, shall we watch a movie tonight?
Daddy FECS: Hmmm… have to go and repair the dent for your car… may not have the time.
 
Mommy FECS: @@@@@@ aarrrrggghhhh
 
After I quit my job:
 
Day 1:
Mommy FECS: Darling, shall we watch a movie tonight?
 
Daddy FECS: Hmmm… have to go and wash our car tonight…
 
Mommy FECS: Tomorrow then 😊 No more other cars to worry about 😀

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal." - Matthew 6:19-20

Diary of a Stay-At-Home-Mom

 

Before: I was impatient with my kids

After: I am still impatient with my kids 😅

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Footnote:

The difference is that I now have a little more time to stop at the very moment to look them in the eyes, to say I am sorry, more time to reflect over and to work on becoming better - getting down on my knees and praying for God's guidance and wisdom, reading books, listening to podcasts on parenting, etc. I have more time to work on the character-building part of this area of my life that I am not very proud of. I still don't do everything right.

Before I didn't have so much time to reflect on my impatience. It got swept under the carpet. When I managed to squeeze in the time to say I was sorry, it was usually so that we could move on to other things in the interest of time. I didn't have much surplus to reflect over it. My mind was mostly preoccupied with the 1000-and-1-things I wanted to achieve in the office.

Diary of a Stay-At-Home-Mom

 

Wherever she goes, Baby FECS proudly tells everyone she meets (well, almost everyone): "My mommy stops working :-)!"

Feeling embarrassed, I wanted to say, hey, my dear daughter, you miss out on a few words in between. It should be: "My mommy stops getting a paycheck for working!!!"

Well, nevermind, it is too complex for her to understand. She is just a child. 

Well, to a certain extent, it is too complex for the world to understand too. 

So what does that make the world? 

A child 🤣

Diary of a Stay-At-Home-Mom

Before: I was working 60 hours a week, and sometimes on weekends too, for an institution called 'The Corporate World'

After: I am working120 hours a week, and always on weekends too, 'The Family'.

I am starting this series called Diary of a Stay-At-Home-Mom. It tells of the journey before and after, i.e. before I quit my job and after I quit my job on 7 August 2020.

The term Stay-At-Home-Moms (SAHM) is a misnomer. It should be changed to Work-At-Home-Moms (WAHM). There are tons of household chores to be done at home. We don’t just sit at home and sip tea. 

So why do I still use the former term as the title of my album? Because this is how the world understands it. 

C Summary (4Y4M19D): First Formal Event

 

Baby FECS attended her first formal event at her cousin's confirmation. She was very patient, although it was very boring for her. Halfway through, I drove her to attend her Chinese class. The qipao dress was given by my sister sent from Singapore, perfect for the formal occasion.

C Summary (4y4m15d): Tracing Letters

 

Baby FECS (4y4m15d) came home and showed me proudly the names of all her best friends at the preschool she had traced by herself. So now I just have to work hard to memorize them and put a face to each and invite them over for play dates 😃

Slumber Party under the Dining Table

5 September 2020 (4Y3M19D and 11Y6M0D)

Daddy FECS just bought a brand new carpet to replace the worn-out carpet under the dining table. We have just cleaned the whole house. With a brand new carpet, a clean house, we decided there's no better time such as now than to have a slumber party underneath the dining table :-)

To protect the carpet, we covered it with a bedsheet. After making our "beds", we decided to make it like a tent with bedsheets covering over the top of the table, and camped underneath it.

But man, it was a lot of work for this mommy to do it all together. Baby FECS helped to drag down the comforters and the pillows from the bedrooms.

It was a very memorable evening as it was the first time Baby FECS, now 4 years old, joined us for our Family Fun Night. It's been a long time since we last had a Family Fun Night sleeping-in... due to work, covid work load, etc. Now that I have decided to quit my job, I have more surplus now to resume our Family Fun Night. Below are some pictures for our memories, sweet memories :-)

 

We read a Chinese book and a Bible story

Sweet dreams

Morning has broken... a picture from below the dining table.

This is how our "camp" looked in the morning :-), not very elegant or pretty, but super cozy :-)

Updates: 7 Nov 2020: Family Fun Night’s most frequent request - slumber party under the dining table