Thursday 24 November 2022

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How to Keep Teens Away from Drugs


More than a month ago, Daddy FECS and I attended a Drug Talk at J's school. The speaker is a policeman whose child is also attending the same school as J. This father and policeman shared his experience in his job dealing with drugs with the youth in Denmark. He said that it's important that kids understand the danger of drugs and know how to deal with it when they are in the situation. 

Our personal parenting coach who is a retired principal of a school in Gentofte told us that the partying, alcohol and drug culture is very much a part of Danish youth culture. It’s often during these parties that the kids get introduced to drugs. It is something we can't avoid. It is there in every single junior college (gymnasium) and Efterskole. We just have to face the fact that our kids will get exposed to this. He advised us to have a good relationship with our kids, so that it will be safe for them to come to us if they are in trouble. This sounded like post-damage control to me, rather than prevention! He said yes there’s no way we can prevent it. Coming from Singapore, this is a culture shock.

What shall I do? This has been on my mind.

If I raise this subject with J, would it arouse his curiosity to try drugs?

If I don't raise it with him, what if he be tempted to try drugs thinking that it is not that harmful? By then it will be too late.

I have been wondering how to get this conversation off the ground in a way not to arouse his curiosity to try out drugs. I still haven't found a way... But God is a humorous God, and He really does hear our prayers.

Denmark is known to have the most comfortable jail in the world, while Singapore has one of the worst. Curious about the condition of the jail in Singapore, two days ago, J asked out of the blue, "Mommy, shall we watch this YouTube video together about Singapore's jail?"

All those men who ended up in jail committed crimes under the influence of drugs. This gave me a teachable moment to show J how drug can destroy a person's life.

So ironically it was through J's own initiative that the conversation on drugs took off in a natural way, although he had selected the videos for a different purpose, namely to show how bad the Singapore jail is.

But I just want to thank God. He has heard my cry for help. He created this opportunity for me to connect with J and gave me the words to do so in a gentle and indirect way - believe me, this is not something I am good at.

God in a way is also showing me that drugs is also a hard-to-deal-with issue in Singapore. I can't just run back to Singapore thinking that our children would be safe there, but God will be with me in our parenting, with our children. I can trust Him with our children growing up in Denmark.

If you are also finding it challenging how to talk to your teenager about drugs, maybe these YouTube videos could help you too. It is a series of 4 videos, but watching one is sufficient, although J couldn't put them down! The videos are very touching. They brought tears to my eyes. J was solemn throughout. In a way, I think it made him think. 

Well, after watching the videos, he forgot to criticize the Singapore's jail system. The Singapore jail system isn't perfect, but it isn't so bad after all. It is clean, the food is decent. The inmates receive psychological assistance.

Below is the link to the series of YouTube videos:




With all my heart, may God bless you in your parenting of your teenager at home. 

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28

Monday 14 November 2022

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Encouragement for Your Marriage: Love = Giving

 


What is love?

Love = Giving

It’s the ability and willingness to sacrifice your own wants, interests and desires for the sake of your spouse/children,
EVEN WHEN YOUR SPOUSE/CHILDREN DON'T DESERVE IT.

Blessed are those who have found such a person as their spouse or parent.

But even more blessed still are those who are such a person to their spouse/children.

Few parents can do it for their own children. Even fewer still can do it for their own spouse.

As I searched my heart, I actually haven’t done so for my own children, even though I say I love them. I wanted Baby FECS to go to ballet. It’s my own want and desire, not hers.

Lots to learn in this area 😭😭But God’s forgiving love surrounds our hearts and make it possible for me to improve as a parent and as a spouse.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. Because of that we all have hope that we can become better parents, better spouse.
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