Encouragement for Your Marriage: See Your Differences as a Gift

    

See Your Differences as a Gift

Different definition of a clean house.

Different ideas on taking holidays.

Different end-of-day routine.

Different interpretation of movies.

Different needs for sleep.

Different approach to making lists - or not making lists.

A list of annoyances that become the dreaded "irreconcilable differences" and indeed they are. They are raw material for endless going-in-circles arguments and a drift toward isolation. 

Every single marriage has this challenge, EVERY SINGLE MARRIAGE, unless you are married to yourself.

How to deal with differences and fight isolation?

Solution:

Believe that your spouse's differences are for your good - they are actually a God-given chance for us to grow and mature. 

Make a decision to see your differences through a lens of gratitude; 

- as a gift from God to grow you up; 

- as the raw material from God to shape you into something beautiful you wouldn't become on your own;

- as grounds for God to build something new on.

The everyday clash of those differences must be met with a steely decision to once again, on a daily basis, to accept and love the other person as God's gift to you.

But how are we able to succeed in making such a decision daily? We can only do so by showing grace, Gushing Grace And we need to go to God for this source of grace, enabling us to do so. We can't show grace by our own effort.

Source: familylife.com Ed Uszynski

https://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/marriage-challenges/understanding-differences/embracing-your-differences-in-marriage/?

Encouragement for Your Marriage: Choose Grace

   

Grace, Gushing Grace

She left her toothbrush on the sink again!

He set the new toilet paper roll on on the wrong side! 

She always talks to my mom in that tone. 

He was late for dinner again!

Overlooking the same old offenses is tough for a lot of reasons. We think, "If you really cared, you would change." 

But sometimes our spouses (and we) are just profoundly human. 

We are keeping a tally and creating a culture in our homes that demands perfection rather than gushing grace. 

We are keeping that record of wrongs because it feeds that slight superiority over our spouse or gives us a reason to guard that grudge.

The world runs on giving us what we deserve, insisting that we perform in order to be loved, but our homes should be different.

What would it look like to choose grace? 

To let it go? 

Leave some wiggle room for each other, some warmth around the edges. 

Make your home a place of refuge from conditional love.

Source: familylife.com

Encouragement for Your Marriage: Secret Service

  

Secret Service

I gleaned so much wisdom from Heaven Not Harvard. Her original post is here.

Your heart will be more blessed doing quiet, secret service for your spouse than it ever is by nagging.

But not nagging and asking nicely isn't good enough if you harbor resentment when your request isn't met. It shows your inner grumble.

When you keep scores – I won’t do this for you because you didn’t do that for me, you will feel resentful. Each check mark against your spouse cements a brick in the wall between the two of you in the marriage.

The key is Secret Service - serving without drawing attention to yourself, quietly doing things for your spouse without being asked, without counting scores. It is about humility

Silently the floor is vacuumed, quietly the dishes are done, the laundry is washed and hanged up, silently his/her empty toothpaste tube gets replaced, his/her breakfast is quietly waiting each morning, his/her coffee is made, and even encouraging him/her to have cave time when his/her week has been frustrating.

To be able to serve and love your spouse well, the secret is to see your spouse as a loved creation of God struggling with his/her own imperfections, flaws and hurts.

Don't see your spouse as someone responsible for filling your heart, it could be his/her heart is so empty, he/she could barely function.

As God pours His grace into your heart through His Word, you will be able to be gracious and begin to fill up your spouse's cup out of the overflow of your own heart. 

You will be able to stop feeling resentful and start looking for the next thing you can do for him/her. You will be able to give him/her real attention, listening to his/her needs.

You can serve your spouse secretly, not because you don't want him/her to know, but because you don't need him/her to. God sees what we do in secret.

Once you learn the secret of loving your spouse well, begin your secret service.

Serve with a grateful attitude. As you go about your day, pray over your acts of service to your spouse, saying, "Thank you, Lord, for this opportunity to serve my spouse. Please remind me that all my service is for You ultimately, and is about humility and serving without drawing attention to myself. Thank you, Lord, my spouse is not a soldier deployed in Ukraine."

Pray over his/her day. Pray that his/her day will be enough to face the challenges of whatever he/she is called to do. Pray that his/her heart will be open to see God in his/her day. Pray for him/her to know that I love him/her, and bring him/her home safely.

Choose every day to thank God for those little things that irritate you. You will even be disappointed when he/she remembers to put the dirty laundry into the laundry bin!

Unconditional love is when we serve our spouse without counting the cost or return. Ask God to teach you how to love your spouse unconditionally.

Nothing transforms your marriage more than loving your spouse and expecting nothing in return.

“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. “Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand knew what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” (Matthew 6:1-4 ESV)

References:

https://heavennotharvard.com/the-secret-service/

Encouragement for Your Marriage: Be Happy To Be Taken for Granted

 

Be Happy To Be Taken For Granted

Did I hear that correctly? Yes

No one likes to be taken for granted. It is counter-cultural. The world tells us to stand up for our rights, to fight for what is fair and to ask, "What's in it for me?"

It's human nature to want to be appreciated, heard, seen, recognized and respected, and that's nothing wrong with that, but sometimes being taken for granted is not a bad thing. It is a gift. 

Just doing life, your spouse could be weighed down by stress, pressure, pain, frustration and exhaustion, and in the midst of coping, he takes you for granted. 

And we do the same too.

If our spouse takes us for granted, that means that they feel safe to lean on us, and that is a beautiful thing. 

Being taken for granted is actually a sign of growth in marriage. It means you are being relied upon.

Work hard at being happily taken for granted. Quietly, do things for your spouse without being asked, instead of counting scores.

Nothing transforms your marriage more than loving your spouse and not expecting anything in return.

As Heaven Not Harvard wrote, "What a beautiful blessing to be taken for granted. Did I hear that right? Yes. I am thankful that God has reminded me to see being relied upon as a blessing."

Today, celebrate being beautifully taken for granted.

“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. “Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand knew what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” (Matthew 6:1-4 ESV)

I gleaned so much wisdom from Heaven Not Harvard. Her original post is here.

References:

https://heavennotharvard.com/beautifully-taken-for-granted/

Encouragement for Your Marriage: Love = Giving

 

What is love?

Love = Giving

It’s the ability and willingness to sacrifice your own wants, interests and desires for the sake of your spouse/children,

EVEN WHEN YOUR SPOUSE/CHILDREN DON'T DESERVE IT.

Blessed are those who have found such a person as their spouse or parent.

But even more blessed still are those who are such a person to their spouse/children.

Few parents can do it for their own children. Even fewer still can do it for their own spouse.

As I searched my heart, I actually haven’t done so for my own children, even though I say I love them. I wanted Baby FECS to go to ballet. It’s my own want and desire, not hers.

Lots to learn in this area 😭😭But God’s forgiving love surrounds our hearts and make it possible for me to improve as a parent and as a spouse.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. Because of that we all have hope that we can become better parents, better spouse.

The Amazing Love Story of Lee Kuan Yew and His Wife Kwa Geok Choo

We all entered marriage at the peak of our lives looking the most dashing and gorgeous like Prince Charming and Cinderella (before balding heads and growing beer belly set in for the men and stretch marks etc. set in for the women :-P). 

But would our marriage last as solid and meaningful as when we got married? How could you nurture your marriage? How would your love-story end?

Mr. Lee Kuan Yew, the former State Minister's marriage is inspiringly and truly out-of-the-ordinary. Theirs is a true fairy-tale marriage. 

To the western world, the former State Minister Mr. Lee Kuan Yew is viewed perhaps at best as Singapore’s benevolent dictator who ruled Singapore with an iron grip. 

But for those of us who are grew up in Singapore, we saw first hand with our own eyes the solid marriage lived out between Mr. Lee Kuan Yew and his wife and their frugal life. That left a remarkable mark impression since I was a teenager. 

How many world leaders does one see that are so devoted and faithful to their wife? 

Whatever your political view is, Lee Kuan Yew’s marriage is one I aspire to emulate.

1. Put your marriage at the center of your family and life

One thing I learned is that even as a busy statesman, Lee Kuan Yew and his wife put their marriage at the center of their life and always make time for each other.

“Spending time as a couple was an important aspect in nurturing their relationship. Ever the busy statesman, Mr Lee still set aside time to walk around the Istana gardens, arm in arm with his wife in the evenings.”

“When given some peaches in hospital, she asked the maid to take one home for my lunch. I was at the centre of her life.” - A nurse at the hospital

It is not easy to put our marriage first. We tend to put our children at the center of our lives.

2. Live frugally as best as you could in order to put your marriage first in this material world that is full of temptations

“I’m not interested in changing either my suit or my car or whatever with every change in fashion.” Of course, I don’t approve of people who are sloppy and unnecessarily shabby or disheveled… But I’m not impressed by a $5000 or $10000 Armani suit (either).” – Lee Kuan Yew on material pursuit in life in the book “The Wit & Wisdom of Lee Kuan Yew”

Recently talk around the dinner table kept resolving around money and wealth. That shows we have much work to be done in the area of steering the character development. Boy, parenting is challenging and challenging a soon-to-be-teenager is getting tougher! 

Over dinner, our Little FECS asked why don’t we have a bigger house so that he can have the whole floor to himself just like his cousin? 

Money is not the only concern, time is. And time and stress go together. Time required to move house, time required to shape the house to our liking – it took us 15 years to slowly bring our current home up to the level that suit our daily routine and lifestyle, even though it is a relatively new building! And finally, that spells time away from each other. Already life is super busy enough with two kids, which will only get worse when they become teenagers! 

If mommy and daddy are going to have carefree time for each other, we cannot have a big house. Sorry Little FECS, in life, sometimes you don’t get what you want. But mommy and daddy will do our best to give you what you need😊A mommy and daddy that love each other and have time for each other - that is the best way we can show our love for you. 

Because we love you, we would not indulge you in material things to the degree that is not good for you. It may be painful, and you may not like it, but this is our loving way of molding your heart.

What is your marriage goal this year as a couple? I hope you would read these two articles and be inspired.

https://mustsharenews.com/lee-kuan-yew-kwa-geok-choo-2/

https://www.todayonline.com/rememberinglky/love-his-life-0

The greatest privilege is to grow old and still having your spouse loving you in return until the day you die, and even after you die. Mr. Lee Kuan Yew and Ms. Kwa Geok Choo's marriage is an amazing love-story that endures even after death. Theirs is a truly fairytale marriage that comes alive!

May God help us to put our marriage above our kids. May God help us to grow old gracefully and lovingly. And may God bless your marriage too. Theirs is a truly fairy-tale marriage comes alive!

“Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint.”- Proverbs 23:4

New Year's Eve 2021

Encouragement for Your Marriage: Grace-in-action

 

When one of you acts in a short-tempered or selfish way, grace in action can be as simple as holding your tongue, giving a hug, or offering a word of encouragement.

According to www.familylife.com, when one of you acts in a short-tempered or selfish way, the other has a choice: Give judgment or show grace.

Which would you rather receive?

Grace in action can be as simple as holding your tongue, giving a hug, or offering a word of encouragement.

Grace approaches life with understanding as its goal rather than proving yourself right and the other person wrong.

Would you like to have a grace-filled marriage?

Its heartbeat trusts in God to work everything for His good purposes. It allows room for successes, failures, and even occasional defeat.

You may ask why should you be the first to change? Or you may feel that you have changed so much, but your spouse hasn't.

Remember that Jesus died an unfair death for sinners, giving us an example to follow. By His sacrifice, He showcased grace for us. In a grace-filled marriage, you care more about your spouse than yourself. 

Lay down your life and die to yourself. Race to the Cross. See who can get there first. Outdo one another at showing honor, grace and humility. Do what's right rather than to be right.

"God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." - Romans 5:8

Encouragement for Your Marriage: A soul mate with your spouse

 

 

 

A soul mate with your spouse is something that you grow into.

It's not something that you find them and then you don't have to do any work. Relationships take work and the payoff - soul mate- comes after you've done the work.

Encouragement for Your Marriage: Build a marriage now that your kids will thank you later (Part 2)

 

  

Build a marriage now that your kids will thank you later (Part 2)

What would we place in our children’s hands when they get married? 

When our children open their presents after their wedding ceremony, hopefully they will smile with the realization that their parents gave them the best gift they could have ever received 

a vibrance, passionate, forgiving, affectionate, loving and exclusive marriage.

Don’t wait until your children are getting married to do so. That will be too late. Start investing in your marriage now. Lead by example. Don’t take your marriage and spouse for granted.

Don’t let career or other material pursuit get in the way that erode your energy and time to the extent that it malnourishes your marriage. Have the wisdom to know when it’s good enough.

It may be best to gift them what a good warm marriage looks like than a large apartment and huge inheritance/cash that are cold.

Encouragement for Your Marriage: Build a marriage now that your kids will thank you later (Part 1)

  

Build a marriage now that your kids will thank you later (Part 1)

The Generational Impact of Our Marriage:

Our marriage can leave behind psychological legacy for our children and grandchildren. Put it in the first place of our life after God. Lead by example as parents in our marriage to our children. Build a marriage now that your kids will thank you later. You are not only creating a solid union as husband and wife, but for generations to come. It's imperative that our marriage not only survives, but thrives.

Encouragement for Your Marriage: Don't Expect Prince Charming or Cinderella

Prince Charming or Cinderella isn't real

Hold and treat your spouse in the highest regard as your Prince Charming or Cinderella with your words and actions, as this is the most affirmative recognition of your spouse as the special person in your life and contributing to the creation of oneness which is the ultimate aspired goal and purpose of marriage. At the heart of every human being, we all want to be deeply cherished by our spouse as her Prince Charming or his Cinderella. Cherish your spouse in the same way you wished to be cherished.

But give him/her grace to fail daily and not expect your spouse to be Prince Charming or Cinderella. Our spouses can love us well, but they will never be like the fictional Prince Charming or Cinderella, completing each other perfectly. Prince Charming or Cinderella isn't real, so your spouse will never be them. 

When we expect Prince Charming or Cinderella, the unrealistic expectations we place on our spouse will only end badly for all involved. Expect to be loved well, but by someone who is human and will most likely mess up time and time again. Move forward in love and forgiveness together. 

Don't expect your spouse to complete you. Our spouses will never complete us. That role can only be fulfilled by Jesus Christ. (John 6:35, Psalm 16:11)

"Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty." - John 6:35

"耶稣对他们说：“我就是生命的粮。到我这里来的人，绝不饥饿；信我的人，永不干渴。"約翰福音 6:35

"You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." - Psalm 16:11

"你必将生命的道路指示我，在你面前有满足的喜乐，在你右手中有永远的福乐。"詩篇 16:11 

References:

https://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/wives/15-ways-to-be-a-better-wife/

Encouragement for Your Marriage: Don't be afraid to be the one who loves the most

 

"Don't be afraid to be the one who loves the most." *

* Advice from a woman in Georgia who has been married for over 60 years.

LOVE (Part 1)

 

What is love?

Love is not an emotion. Love is an action that grows out of our attitude and thoughts. Love is a way of thinking and behaving. Emotion is the result of loving actions. 

Love is willing self-sacrifice for the good of the other that doesn't demand reciprocation i.e. love is doing something good for your spouse without expecting any returns. Manipulation is doing something good for your spouse expecting something in return.

There is no such thing as love without sacrifice because we will have to step out of our wants, our needs, our plans and our agenda. Love is always costly.

Love does its most beautiful work when the other person doesn't deserve it. We are all married to an imperfect human being in a fallen world. Our spouse and children are going to have bad days. Our spouse and children are inevitably going to say or do things that will hurt us. That's when love rises and lives out all of its beauty.

If we choose to love our spouse only when he/she deserves it, then none of us will ever express true love.

The good news is that love can be learned because it is not an emotion. If we simply wait for warm emotions to be there, we may wait in vain. But if we choose loving actions toward our spouse, we are setting in motion the cycle which stimulates warm emotion.

let us all build a marriage that goes the distance. 

That's true love.

How do I get this love?

We love because he first loved us (1 John 4:19). In our creepiest most unlovable days, we are still deeply loved by God. What an amazing love! And oh what a privilege it is to experience God so real in our lives. And out of the overflow of God's love overflows the love we give to our spouse and our family.

Here is a podcast that will help you to live out that love:

https://www.familylife.com/podcast/familylife-today/what-is-love/

Here is the post to LOVE (Part 2):

https://www.familyfecs.com/2020/11/love.html

"我们爱，因为神先爱我们。"約翰一書 4:19

Encouragement for Your Marriage: A Princess of Grace is Gentle

     

A Princess of Grace is gentle.

Gentleness is love in action.

Gentleness is love in action - being considerate, meeting the needs of others, allowing time for the other person to talk, and being willing to learn.

Gentleness comes from a state of humility. Someone who lacks gentleness is often prideful and easily angered, and harsh, and feels the need to return a tooth for a tooth.

A gentle person is someone who is calm and rational in a state of anger.

What's the difference between gentleness and kindness?

Gentleness is how one goes about action. Kindness is about what actions one takes and why.

One who is gentle strives in all they do to be harmless, to not hurt the other. To have a soft spirit. 

Everyone is guilty of sinning and making mistakes, and that gentleness and compassion will always be the best response to any situation.

A gentle person learns to reserve judgment.

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear." - 1 Peter 3:3-6

Being gentle and quiet in spirit really just means being obedient to God and His Word. If we are seeking the Lord above all else, our spirits will become gentler and quieter, keeping peace with everyone and we will become more and more beautiful in God's sight.

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits." - Proverbs 18:21

"生 死 在 舌 头 的 权 下 ， 喜 爱 他 的 ， 必 吃 他 所 结 的 果 子。" - 箴 言 18:21

Dear God, in our marriage and family, help me to strive towards being a Princess of Grace, to develop a spirit of gentleness in our daily life, to be conscious of my words, to speak words that bring life and not death.

References:

https://www.gcu.edu/blog/spiritual-life/weekly-devotional-fruit-spirit-gentleness

https://www.gloveworx.com/blog/gentleness-vs-strength-how-balance-both/

Encouragement for Your Marriage: Marriage is About Finding your Sole Mate Not Your Soul Mate

 

 

"Marriage is About Finding your Sole Mate Not Your Soul Mate" - Gary Thomas

If you have found a soulmate, that's great. Enjoy it while it lasts. 

Marriage is dynamic. What and who you are at 20, is different from what and who you are at 30, and is different from what and who you are at 40 or 70.

For example, failures may change a person for better or for worse. But success may also change a person for better or for worse.

Regardless of whom you married, the fundamental differences between a man and a woman, the differences and habits resulted from the different family backgrounds and childhoods' experiences, etc. will surface in a marriage sooner or later.

What do you do then?

Do you "divorce" away your problems or fight to come closer to each other, to walk with each other?

From the research and surveys of second or third marriages, the grass is NOT greener on the other side. In fact, it only gets worse with second or third marriages.

Do you stay single then?

Every human being's deepest longing is to be known and loved fully and vulnerably, and yet to be fully accepted. Be that for your spouse and you will experience the richest and deepest relationships of all - marriage.

Be willing and be adamant to be a sole mate for your spouse... someone cheerful to walk the life's journey through...

thick and thin, 

in sickness or in health, 

for riches or for poorer.

It takes emotional muscles to do so... and wow, that's true love!

Dear God, in our marriage, help us to walk the extra mile cheerfully with our spouse and be a sole mate for life, living out our marital vow with power and conviction.

Encouragement for Your Marriage: Every Good Marriage Begins with a Funeral

 

 Every good marriage begins with a funeral.

For two people to become one, parts of the individuals have to die - die to our preferences, our comforts, and even our desires.

For a new plant to grow, a seed has to fall onto the soil and die. From there a new life begins, grows and thrives.

Marriage is the beginning of a new life, but it can only truly become a deeply satisfying united oneness with death to oneself.

This is the paradox of marriage and life: The irony is death truly brings life, a deeply satisfying life together.

"Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit." - John 12:24

"我实实在在地告诉你们：一粒麦子不落在地里死了，仍旧是一粒；若是死了，就结出许多子粒来。" - 约翰福音 12:24

Dear God, help me each day to die to my selfish sinful nature, for our marriage and for our family.

Encouragement for Your Marriage: A Princess of Grace works hard at both merited love and merciful love

 

  Merited love is I love you because...

Merciful love is I love you in spite of...

A Princess of Grace works hard at both merited love and merciful love.

Merited love is why you first got married. It's important in a marriage. Work to give your spouse more reasons to say “I love you because…”

E.g. of merited love:

I love you because of the way you look into my eyes.

I love you because you are so sweet.

I love you because of your beautiful hair.

I love you because of your beautiful smile.

I love you because you are so intelligent.

I love you because you are so sporty.

I love you because you are so kind to my parents.

I love you because you work so hard to support the family.

I love you because of your high integrity and ethics in life.

But human beings are imperfect. For a marriage to thrive and last, merciful love needs to enter and stay.

E.g. of merciful love:

I love you in spite of your white hair.

I love you in spite of your snoring.

I love you in spite of your coming home late for dinner.

I love you in spite of your grumpiness every now and then due to the stress of life.

I love you in spite of you hurting my feelings and stepping on my toes every now and then.

I love you in spite of you leaving clothes on the floor after countless reminders.

I love you in spite of the way you fold the clothes after countless tutorial sessions on how to fold clothes.

I love you in spite of you forgetting to refill the ice-cubes in the freezer yet again.

Merciful love stems from grace. It is unconditional love in daily work clothes.

Merciful love is hard. It is supernatural, but it is true love.

When you give merciful love, God sees it, and you are blessed in many different ways you could not even think of.

“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense” (Proverbs 19:11)

“人有见识就不轻易发怒，

宽恕人的过失便是自己的荣耀。” - 箴言 19:11

Dear God, in our marriage, help us to grow in both merited love and merciful love for each other.

Encouragement for Your Marriage: Marriage is a Calling

 

 Marriage is a calling.

Marriage is a calling. This idea may sound weird to many. When we fail to see marriage as a calling, we belittle it. For many, it becomes something you wouldn't sacrifice your career goals for. Marriage comes far down the list of priorities. We take our marriage for granted.

If we see marriage as a calling, it becomes our life’s work. It's not something we do on the side. It’s something we do first, and then build the rest of our life around it.

Dear God, please give us every day the grace we need to live out Christ’s call to perfection in an imperfect world in our marriage.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." - Philippians 2:3-4

Reference:

https://www.foryourmarriage.org/3-modern-obstacles-to-a-healthy-marriage/?fbclid=IwAR32x5qejP3Vh25qN-p-kZ3xoLNEt-_GToSVL7_1LzwzCEHroaFdhg8n18s

Encouragement for Your Marriage: Man cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself

 

 Man cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself.

According to For Your Marriage:

That “sincere gift of self” is a daily call to sacrifice. It’s not feel-good stuff. It hurts. Like sacrifice always does.

Love comes first. Charity above all things. We can be otherwise “perfect” – earning a decent living, setting up a home, having children and educating them well – but if we fail to recognize the importance of loving our spouse with self-giving love, we are failing at the most important thing. None of that other stuff matters.

We aren’t all perfect at self-sacrifice, of course, and in a healthy marriage there is plenty of room for mistakes, mercy, and forgiveness. The fundamentally important call to hear, however, is the call to love one another and to fully find yourself through a “sincere gift of self” to your spouse. That kind of love isn’t just “nice if you can find it”; it’s what marriage is."

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13

哥林多前书 13:13 - 现在常存的有信、望、爱这三样，其中最大的是爱。

I will leave you with this touching article and video:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2401655/She-gave-75-years-life-96-year-old-man-enters-heartbreaking-song-wrote-late-wife-contest-producers-record-iTunes.html?fbclid=IwAR3KfKDo2MDLlwfqHpjwDRKinnIINfIngH5QtIG_iF8PbO6bj_yj-XJEzHk

https://vimeo.com/70426141

Reference:

https://www.foryourmarriage.org/3-modern-obstacles-to-a-healthy-marriage/?fbclid=IwAR32x5qejP3Vh25qN-p-kZ3xoLNEt-_GToSVL7_1LzwzCEHroaFdhg8n18s

Encouragement for Your Marriage: A 50/50 marriage is a performance-based marriage, A 100/100 is a grace-based marriage.

 

 A 50/50 marriage is a performance-based marriage,

A 100/100 is a grace-based marriage.

A 50/50 marriage is a performance-based marriage. 

Love is withheld and resentment builds up, when a spouse falls short of 50/50 especially with regards to, for example, housework 😂

A 100/100 marriage is a grace-based marriage.

Love is unconditional even when our spouse falls short of our expectations.

Dear God, in our marriage, please help us to spur each other to grow towards a 100/100 marriage.