J Summary (5Y4M14D) - Buying Ice-Cream with His Reward Points

 

J has been saving up his smileys from the Children's bonus system that we set up and have been paid out as cash. Today, he asked for an ice-cream after playing the piano. I thought that it would be a good chance for him to use the tokens that he has saved up. So we went to his piggy bank and took out 20 kr. The ice-cream costed 15 kr. and I asked him how much he should get as change back.

 

He got it right that it was 5 kr. although initially he said 4 kr. I wrote it down on paper. I also suggested that he put the 20 kr. into his wallet. This evening, we took a short walk down the lake and J bought an ice-cream and shared it with us.

 

He was very proud that he went shopping with his own wallet and his own money. He was very excited to try buying the ice-cream himself.

 

I think this helps to give tangible rewards for his hard work and give him a concrete purpose for learning Maths. I told him that if he ernestly learn Maths, he would be able to count and manage his money.

 

It was a fun activity and we made memories together.

Children's Reward System (Updated)

Piggybank with tokens to save up unused smileys :-)

 

The introduction of the bonus system went well and the tasks quickly expanded. With the addition of tasks, we could no longer fit them onto the board.  We also need an easy solution for J to carry over his rewards.

 

The only changes are including a piggybank for saving up his rewards and including only main category on Chore Board, with specific tasks for J listed separately on paper instead.

 

We have progressed from here to here, while still keeping the system very simple. The updates are highlighted in red below.

In this way, adding of tasks is not a problem, and the rewards system still works, even when new tasks are added.

Materials:
1. 1 Chore Board
2. A bag of magnetic smileys (about 90 pieces)
3. 1 specific task list
4. 1 Piggybank
5. 1 container containing tokens (I took it from the 4-in-a-line game)

Directions:

1. State only main categories on Chore Board

The following are our main categories:

1. Own Chores
2. Family Chores
3. Help Others
4. Classes
5. Homework
6. Courtesy

2. Make a detailed task list on paper

On a piece of paper list the chores and add to them as your your child gain independence and can do more things by himself. Our specific task list has expanded and currently looks like this:

1. Own Chores

Any of the below tasks will earn him 1 smiley under "Own Chores" on the Chore Board:

1. Get dressed
2. Brush teeth self
3. Make own bed
4. Bring dirty dishes to the kitchen sink
5. Fold own clothes and put them in the respective wardrobe

2. Family Chores

Any of the below tasks will earn him 1 smiley under "Family Chores" on the Chore Board:

1. Set table
2. Help Mommy prepare meals
3. Help Mommy with a household chore
4. Help Daddy clean up the basement

3. Help Others

Help Others means community work. It is any tasks that are not for self or family, but for others. Any of the below tasks will earn him 1 smiley under "Help Others" on the Chore Board:

1. Serve his guests drinks and food (e.g. during his birthday party)

2. Befriend a new child and help him around kindergarten (this is a good time, as there are many new children in his class)

3. Help a new child in class find new friends

4. Help to serve food at the old folks home or at the soup kitchen (we haven't started yet, but plan to next month every Thursday, where I will take him out of kindergarten for volunteer work. My Singaporean friends will be alarmed that I am taking my child out of kindie for a day. But it is because in the Danish kindergarten, there is no curriculum, unlike in Singapore. J does not learn anything academic, but playing. So he will not be missing out on anything.)

4. Classes

Any of the below tasks will earn him 1 smiley under "Classes" on the Chore Board:

1. Be focus, serious and do his best at Chinese class
2. Be focus, serious and do his best at piano class
3. Be focus, serious and do his best at swimming class
4. Be focus, serious and do his best at football class

5. Homework

Any of the below tasks will earn him 1 smiley under "Homework" on the Chore Board:

1. Practice piano
2. Write Chinese
3. Read Chinese
4. Complete Maths homework with focus and seriousness
5. Do Montessori homework with focus and seriousness

6. Courtesy

Any of the below tasks will earn him 1 smiley under "Courtesy" on the Chore Board:

1. Greet teacher good morning and say his/her name.
2. Say thank you to teacher after the class and say his/her name

2. Explain how it works

Each week...

1. For every task he does or quality he exhibits, he gets 1 smiley.

2. For every task or quality he does without Mommy's prompting, he gets 2 smileys.

3. For every task he does within time allocation, he gets 1 additional smiley.

4. At the end of the week, tally up the smileys (an opportunity to teach or practice addition) and give the rewards.

5. Unused smileys that J would like to save will be converted into the equal number of tokens for him to drop into piggybank (Remember too to let your child convert and count the tokens himself).

6. Start over the following week

3. Explain the rewards

Design the rewards with your child. Here is how we have designed the rewards. We will fine-tune along the way:

1. Every 1 smiley = 5 minutes on the iPad (capped at 1 hour each per week)

2. Every 10 smileys = 1 bowl of yogurt

3. Every 20 smileys = 1 ice-cream (capped at 1 per week)

4. Every 30 smileys = 1 coin ride (the kind at shopping centre where you drop a coin and the car moves)

5. Every 40 smileys = Choose something costing 10 DKK at Tiger

6. Every 50 smileys = Disney Show

Addtional Information:

Here is a good website with chores appropriate for different ages:

http://www.choresandchecklists.com/chores-for-5-year-olds.html

So far J has been very disciplined, and did not ask to exchange his smileys for any of the unhealthy stuff (chocolates, ice-cream, cheese sticks, etc.). He also has not asked for time on iPad or Disney Show. He only asked for yogurt, saying that that is healthy choice. I am not sure how long this will last, but I will enjoy while it does.

References:
On Becoming Childwise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam



Our Preschooler Reward System

Daddy has bought the board, and I have been wanting to implement this with J, but I have been very busy. Yesterday, we went to an open house of one of the top Christian primary schools in Denmark (in terms of grades), and the principal explained the bonus system that they use in their school. That got me very inspired, and I am now starting a simple system with J.

Materials:

1. 1 Magnetic board or chalk board or paper board shown above
2. 90 Smiley magnets or stickers
3. 1 white board marker

Directions:

A: 5 Steps:

1. Identify Age Appropriate Chores

Identify age appropriate tasks you want your child to work on. Here is a good website I have found showing the different appropriate tasks for different age:

http://www.choresandchecklists.com/chores-for-5-year-olds.html

2. Start Slow and Keep It Simple

I am starting with 1-2 tasks that I pick myself. I am starting with two, but may go down to one after discussing with J.

The tasks I have chosen for J are:
- Setting the table
- Getting dressed in the morning

3. Encourage Buy-in from Your Child

I involve J by allowing him to choose the 2nd or 3rd task that he would like to include, e.g. brushing his teeth himself, folding the clothes, etc.

Ask him what a reward is to him. For example, going swimming with Mommy and Daddy may not be a reward to a child who doesn't like to swim. Let him choose a list of 3-5 rewards.

4. Include Both Chores and Qualities

Besides tasks, there are a few character qualities that I would like to see him develop. I am starting with 1-3 qualities.

For example, J is a little challenged when it comes to greeting people, saying thank you, good morning or goodbye, no matter how much I remind him. If I bring him to my office, he would ignore everyone, to my embarrassment. Of course, shyness does not give us the license not to be courteous. I am thus including courtesy as a character quality that he should work on.

5. Define Completion of Chores

Think through on your own what a completed task looks like. Then sit down with your child and explain to him clearly what a completed task is, which forms part of the rule of the game.

For example, setting the table means all items - placemat, plate, knife, fork and glass correctly and neatly placed. Demonstrate for your child your standard.

For example, getting dressed means putting on shirt, undies, socks or stockings and pants before getting down for breakfast.

For example, exhibiting courtesy means looking into the person's eyes, greeting him with a smile and addressing the person's name (in Denmark) or addressing the person as auntie/uncle (in Singapore).

For example, exhibiting patience means waiting for mommy/daddy to finish conversation with others, and not pulling at mommy/daddy's sleeves to get going. Patience means waiting until everyone finishes main course before eating dessert.

B: How Does It Work? 

Each week...

1. For every task he does or quality he exhibits, he gets 1 smiley.

2. For every task or quality he does without Mommy's prompting, he gets 2 smileys.

3. For every task he does within time allocation, he gets 2 smileys.

4. At the end of the week, tally up the smileys (an opportunity to teach or practice addition) and give the rewards.

5. Re-set the board again at the beginning of the following week and evaluate over the tasks to include - whether you should focus on the same tasks or different tasks.

C: The Rewards:

Here is how we have designed the rewards. We will fine-tune along the way:

1. Every 1 smiley = 5 minutes on the iPad (capped at 1 hour each per week)

2. Every 10 smileys = 1 bowl of yogurt

3. Every 20 smileys = 1 ice-cream (capped at 1 per week)

4. Every 30 smileys = 1 coin ride (the kind at shopping centre where you drop a coin and the car moves)

5. Every 40 smileys = Choose something costing 10 DKK at Tiger

6. Every 50 smileys = Disney Show

References:
On Becoming Childwise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam