Toy of the Day: The ABC Bible Verse Book (7M8D)

23 December 2016 (7M8D): Baby FECS really loves this book. She giggle a lot as I exaggeratedly read out the sound of the letters and reading the sentence to her.

Toy of the Day: First Picture Nursery Rhymes Board Book (7M2D)

17 December 2016 (7M2D): In order not to cannibalize on J's learning of the Chinese language, I erred on the side of caution and started English only with J, when he was 2 years old. That strategy seemed to work, as J is speaking Mandarin willingly. When C, I am much more daring. I started to introduce her to English Nursery Rhymes already now as a baby, although I only speak to her in Mandarin. It helps that today, Daddy FECS could be the one to read to her in English. 

http://amzn.to/2gVvxzw

Toy of the Day: Touch-&-Feel Baby Board Book (6M25D)

10 December 2016 (6M25D) Baby FECS loves touch-&-feel baby board books now. She touched the fabric, and she seemed to love to touch the whiskers of the cat best.

Amazon has similar touch-&-feel books:

http://amzn.to/2hmyMSo

Some even come equipped with sounds:

http://amzn.to/2gpDFbu

Book: The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian

I find that in raising a child, the most important thing is prayer. So many things are just simply beyond our control. We need to humble ourselves before God. Only God can touch the heart of a child and convict a child. Prayer is the most powerful tool, but alas I have not been very good at it and it can be hard to find the right words. I find this book very helpful in providing inspiration. Hope you may find it useful too.

http://amzn.to/1KnyCj2

A Powerful Moment to Teach Empathy

J started attending After School Care recently (real school in Denmark only starts in August). Two day ago, while dropping J off at the school, a mom took the opportunity to talk to me at the wardrobe corner. She said that J and another boy had been teasing his son's name the day before. His son (for privacy, I will call him J-too), was very sad and almost did not want to come to school that day. This mom told me in a very nice manner, but I could see that her eyes were almost red, while she spoke. She must have felt hurt.

I thanked her for bringing this to my attention, and told her that I was totally with her that this wasn't acceptable. I told her that I would have a good talk with my son. She told me not to make it big, as they are just kids. They said things without realizing that they hurt someone.

On the way back from work, I prayed in my heart, asking God for wisdom how I could teach our son.

During bed time routine, I took out a book. It is a story about a new girl, Sally, joining the kindergarten for the first time. One of the girls, Marie, said that she did not like the new girl, and urged her friend, Missy, not to play with her.

I asked J, if he could see any similarity in this story and his experience in school today. He conveniently said he couldn't.

So I told him that Marie, was like the boy who teased J-too.
Missy = J, the follower
Sally = J-too

He understood, but was defensive, saying that it was because he didn't know how to pronounce the boy's name, and it wasn't his intention to tease the boy. He was just following the other boy. I explained to him that he should not be a blind follower, but he should have the courage to stand up for others. This is what the Bible taught us to do. When we are in the position to stand up for the oppressed, we should do so. But I could sense that he still did not feel so much for the boy, J-too, that he teased. Praying in my heart... I searched for ways to reach J's heart.

Just then, an idea came into my mind - the scout groups' visits!

I put my arms around J and related our experience from visiting the different scout groups last week...

J liked one of the scout groups, but not the other. Lying in bed, I asked J, "Why do you preferred XXX scout group over YYY scout group?"

At the XXX scout group:

- None of the kids came to say hello to J.
- They just continued playing the catching game.
- When there was a chance to join in, they did not invite J.
- The leaders just gave instructions in front of the board with the sewing materials during the sewing activity.
- The leaders did not come over and teach each and every kid. J was left on his own to figure out.

Half-way through the visit, J said to me that he wanted to go home.

At the YYY scout group:

- While gathering to sing a song, they said hello to us and asked for our name, before they started singing.
- We sat down and they introduced everyone's name.
- We played name game so that they could remember J's name and we can remember their name.
- They were teaching the kids how to tie knots and one of the boys, Bertram, just took his own initiative to come over to J, and guided J personally how to tie a knot (see picture below). This boy showed himself to be very caring.
- They were making a small fire to make food. The leader gave each and every kid a chance to light a match and to learn how to make a fire, guiding them along each step of the way. J wanted to try, but was new to the group. They sensed it and invited him up to try and guided J along.
- They taught the kids how to cut banana, and thereafter gave opportunity for each and every kid to try to cut banana and slot chocolate in them.
- At the end of the evening, a leader came over and said that they were so glad that we joined them.

J was really happy at this group, and said he couldn't wait to join them again.

I explained that the reason he was so happy, and couldn't wait to join them again, because YYY scout group made him feel very welcome as a first-time visitor/newcomer. The other scout group more or less just left him on his own. He didn't feel so welcome, nor was there a sense of close and nice bond among the kids.

Bertram coming over to make friend with J, and helping him to learn how to tie a knot :-)

I told him that the scout Bertram set himself to be a very good example, how to be a kind boy. Bertram put himself into J's shoes, and came over to make friend with J, helping him to feel at home.

J reflected...

Then I told J, "When you go to school tomorrow, will you ask God to help you to be kind and sensitive to the needs of others, and try to be a 'Bertram.'" I encouraged him to try to look around to see if there is any kid who seems shy, who seems alone and needing a friend, and he could go over and be his friend.

He said yes, he would try.

We ended by praying and asking God to help J to be like a "Bertram" and to learn to practise kindness in his school. (The Danish name "Bertram" is now synonymous with "kindness" in our vocabulary :-))

I thanked God for these experiences gained from visiting the different scouts groups. They served as very powerful teachable moments to illustrate this lesson that we read from the book and to help J to understand.

This also reminded me to thank God for the "not-so-good" experiences in life. Having experienced that ourselves, they are there to help us develop empathy for others.

This is the book I read to J. It contains many good stories that teaches kids about life. I highly recommend it:

Updates 8 May 2015: J did a "Bertram" today :-) 

When I picked up J today, I saw him playing with J-too. They were playing very well and kind to each other. J-too was very happy. I knew in my heart that J has done a "Bertram" today :-) Thank God for working on J's heart, for moulding his character and for answering our prayer last night :-)

Donald Duck Comics

J LOVES Donald Duck comics in Danish since he was 4 years old. He could read it on his own in the morning and in the evening for half and hour or more. He could not read the word, but he understood the stories from looking at the pictures and he laughed a lot, when he read it.

I felt a little left out, since the comics is in Danish, and I wanted to share it with him in a language that I could participate. Thus, I am searching for the for Donald Duck comics in Chinese and English.

Donald Duck comic magazine is very popular in Denmark, and Daddy grew up reading it. And he passed this habit to J, for good or for bad.

At first, I was a little worried that he is attracted to comics and not more serious books. I was afraid that it would carnivorize the other good books, but Daddy said that there are very often also very good moral values behind the stories. It is better that he finds something that he likes to read that could inculcate hopefully the love for reading.

I found those below in English from Amazon:

 

References:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Duck

The Power of the Dining Table

Don't underestimate the power and importance of your dining table.

I am reminded of its importance from the famous and amazing Dutch woman Corrie ten Boom:

"Can a piece of furniture be important? The oval table in our dinning room was the gathering place for hopes and dreams, the listening place for prayers and petitions, and the loving place for joy and laughter." - Corrie ten Boom (Author of the book: In My Father's Hourse - The Years Before the Hiding Place)

However, meal times at our home can sometimes degenerate into this:

J reading his Donald Duck comics, Daddy reading the news on the iPad and me absorbed in the books of amazing biographies of great people... and at the same time eating. When I catch myself and resist the temptation, it is easy for us moms to nag or explode our children and spouse out of this. But the best way is to take it to the Lord and pray and gently coach our family members out of their cocoons... not easy, but the best way.

We are not a perfect family and we don't always achieve it. But the important thing is the progress. Tomorrow is yet another day to try :-)

May our dining table be a place of fond memories years down the road in our family. This is the prayer and goal of our family and may it be everyone's too.

Books On Famous Scientists for Children

I am currently reading a biography on Einstein and His Life. J was curious about what I am reading, but the book is not suitable for him. But I have found some books which are suitable for J:

Galileo Galilei (1564-1642):

Isaac Newton (1643-1727):

   

Benjamin Franklin (1706–1790)

Thomas Edison (1847-1931)

Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Fun Children's Physics, Chemistry & Biology Books

I found some great introduction books to Physics, Chemistry and Biology for young children. I like them for presenting the terminology/jargon of the subject matter in a interesting and easy-to-understand way for small children. These books serve to wet the appetite of young children to Science and Maths.

They are available from Amazon:

The Power & the Touch of a Mother's Hands

Do not underestimate the significance of your hands... A mother's hands can bring warm memories of childhood, and reading this reminded me of my own mother, who nursed me with her hands when I was a child.

I am inspired... by the book "The Mission of Motherhood" by Sally Clarkson, who poignantly made me realise the power and the touch of a mother's hands and I quote:

"As I look back to the memories of my childhood, a strong image that comes to my mind is that of my mother's loving hands."

During illnesses...

"My memories of (childhood) illnesses... my mother would gently stroke my brow as she talked softly or told me stories and gave me her full attention."

While reading...

"As a young child, sitting next to her in a big children's book. Her fingers would point to the enticing, heart-delighting pictures and turn the pages of the large volumes as we leisurely sat together and talked and read."

Conquering fear...

"...when I was having recurring nightmare... I remember the comfort of my mother's hands when she came to my bedside. She would take my hand in hers as she knelt to pray with me, soothing away my fears and comforting me as she entreated God to take all of my bad thoughts away." 

During church service...

"...when I fidgeted in church services, I remember my mother's hands massaging my own, pulling and squeezing each of my fingers as she quietly played finger games with me." 

Oh may I be the kind of mom who holds my child with such loving and thoughtful hands.

Reflection: Lesson from The Chinese Bamboo Shoot

If I may be allowed to quote this from the book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families" by Stephen Covey:

"In everything you do for your family, keep in mind the miracle of the Chinese bamboo tree. After the seed for this amazing tree is planted, you see nothing, absolutely nothing, for 4 years except for a tiny shoot coming out of a bulb. During those 4 years, all the growth is underground in a massive, fibrous root structure that spreads deep and wide in the earth. But then in the fifth year, the Chinese bamboo tree grows up to 80 feet!"

"Many things in family life are like the Chinese bamboo tree. You work and invest your time and effort, and you do everything you can possibly do to nurture growth, and sometimes you don't see anything for weeks, months or even years. But if you're patient and keep working and nurturing, that "fifth year" will come, and you will be astonished at the growth and change you see taking place."

No no, this is not for J - he is not an exasperating teenager yet :-). Nor is it for my Significant Other. It is for myself. It is so hard for me to develop patience, kindness and graciousness, as the pride, selfishness and stubbornness keep getting in the way. This is a reminder for myself not to give up on myself, but to continue to press on, and hopefully, my "fifth year" will come and that I will be a wise mom to Joshua. Let the change start with me.

It has also once again reminded me to continue with patience, perseverance and hard work in my pursue of homeschooling J and getting into a ocnsistent habit for daily devotion time with J reading the Bible. Though I am not seeing any fruit of my labor, I should just be faithful. Years later, the investment I am doing now may then surfaced out. And even if it does not give much returns, it is never a bad thing putting in all those investments and doing those things together. That in itself is a good enough return. And truly, I am enjoying the journey too :-)

How to Teach Children Respect for Nature?

According to the book "Let the Child Come Along the Virtuous Way" based on the series Growing Kids God's Way, we need to teach our children respect for nature and the below is a summary of what I have learned.

Why should we respect nature?

Don't just say for example, “No, J, do not pluck the flowers in the park.” It is very important to explain the reason why behind our instructions, so that they understand. Explain the reasons why we should respect nature:

1. Nature was created by God
2. Man’s duty to be a steward of creation
3. Preciousness of others

Elaboration of each reason as follows:

1. Nature was created by God

Although the objects of nature do not possess the same essence as man, nature, like man, has inherent value as a result of the creation process. God treats His creation with integrity and if God treats His creation with integrity, so should man. We find the value of creation in the source of creation, God Himself.

2. Man’s duty to be a steward of creation

God instructed Adam to take care of the garden and to take dominion over it (Genesis 1:28). This implies protecting and nurturing it, functioning as a gardener and preserving it. The earth is everyone’s garden.

3. Preciousness of others

Respect nature is respecting others. We should have consideration for others who come behind us or before us. That's why we should not litter even biodegrable waste, because although it will decay and put nutrients back into the soil, others have the right to enjoy the beauty of nature without the ugliness of your garbage. Aesthetic appreciation for natural beauty is the moral consideration.

How can we teach children respect for nature?

By teaching and training children:
1. Not to litter biodegrable litter
2. Not to fidget and sweep the plants along the pedestrian path with their hands
3. Not to trample flower beds
4. Not to pluck flowers in the park
5. Not to strip branches of their leaves for a momentary mindless sensation.

You can read more from the book:

Additional Information:

My own personal journal.

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Hope & Encouragement for ADHD Parents and Children

Many well-meaning friends told me that I should not play God to attempt to help in something that I do not have the ability, but to take care of myself and my family, and not give up on my career, which I appreciate and am truly touched.

But I cannot give up this work. Yes, he is only my nephew and yes, I am not the parent and I don't have to give myself this responsibility. No, I am not Mother Theresa and far from being able to be so selfless like her, who give up her life for others. Yet I cannot let my nephew grow up all alone in this world, rejected by people, giving up hope even on himself. I cannot do that with my open eyes. He is my nephew.

No, I am not playing God, but I am working alongside with God, drawing on God's strength, comfort and help.

No, I am not playing God, but praying to God, and it draws me closer to God, knowing how small and powerless I am. Yet, our God is a powerful God.

Yes, my family is a priority and I will do my utmost to take good care of it, both J and Daddy, my two most beloved in my life. I will learn to take better care of myself and my health. However, there are price to be paid elsewhere, and I have to count the cost in other areas.

I cannot do this alone. I am very grateful that my family is a source of great support and comfort to me. I am very grateful to my employer for their kindness towards me.

I quote Dr. James Dobson who quoted from Time Magazine 1994 which is still relevant today:

"The psychological injuries are great (if the spirit of ADHD children are crushed). By ages five to seven, says Dr. Russell Barkley, author of Taking Charge of ADHD, half to two-thirds are hostile and defiant. By ages 10 to 12, they run the risk of developing what psychologists call "conduct disorder" - lying, stealing, running away from home and ultimately getting into trouble with the law. As adults, says Barley, 25 percent to 30 percent will experience subtance-abuse problems, mostly with depresssants like marijuana and alcohol. One study of hyperactive boys found that 40 percent had been arrested at least once by age 18."

The above should not serve to discourage us. But it means that we should really prioritize and realize the urgency and importance. It means that we should give attention to the care of children with ADHD. With loving and firm parenting, with proper care and support, they can grow up to be useful members of the society.

If you are a parent struggling with ADHD, there is hope. ADHD doesn't have to be a hopeless handicap, if we can learn to manage it, and if we can learn to teach our children to manage it. It requires a lot of patience. And we go and knee at the feet of our Lord Jesus to ask for patience. God does give it to us, and it is renewed every day - daily. When we fail, we get forgiveness and try again next day. But never never give up on your ADHD child.

The book "Why ADHD Doesn't Mean Disaster" written by Dr. Walt Larimore, Mrs. Diane Passno and Dr. Dennis Swanberg are well-qualified authors to tell us how to live successfully with the "disorder" and to explain how we can turn it into an asset, instead of wallowing in self-pity and despondent.

Dr. Swanberg and his son both suffered from ADHD, yet Dr. Swanberg managed to become a doctor. Mrs. Diane Passno has a daughter who has ADHD, but she has graduated with a degree in engineering.

It doesn't mean that JN has to be a doctor or graduate from engineering to be considered as successful, but it does means that there is hope to live with ADHD.

I quote Dr. James Dobson who quoted Dr. Paul Elliott, M.D. from the book:

"In my opinion, the ADD brain structure is not truly an abnormality. In fact, I believe a very good case can be made that it is not only normal, though in the minority, but may well be a superior brain structure. However, the talents of the person with ADD brain structure are not those rewarded by our society in its current stage of development."

You can find this book from Amazon and may it encourage you:

How to Teach Your Child Respect for Property?

We need to teach our children respect for property. Instead of simply saying no, do not do this and that, and expect obedience, it is very important to explain to our children the moral reason why behind our instructions. Children are more willing to obey if they know the reasoning behind it.

Why should we respect property?

We should take the time to explain that it is because the Bible teaches us to esteem the preciousness of others, to respect others and their property:

Philippians 2:3 tells us to esteem and regard others higher than ourselves.
Titus 3: 2 instructs us to be courteous to all men.

How to teach and train children respect for property?

By teaching and training from young as follows according to the book "Let the Child Come Along the Virtuous Way" based on the series Growing Kids God's Way:

1. Start from home
2. Respect property when visiting friends
3. Respect public property
4. Purchasing labor
5. Duty labor

Elaboration of each point as follows:

1. Start from home – the living room:

As your children become increasingly mobile, set boundaries for both their well-being as well as respect for property. Certain household items should be off limits such as television knobs, remote control, stereo buttons, etc.)

2. Respect property when visiting friends by teaching your children

a. Not to rearrange their living room claiming that the items are too much temptation for our children.
b. Not to explore bedrooms, open cabinets, refrigerators or drawers.
c. Not to climb on furniture.
d. Not to jump on sofa or beds.
e. Not to carry their cat, slinging it from its neck.
f. Not to play behind the curtains.
g. Not to let your children throw another child’s toy

3. Respect public property by teaching your child

a. Not to toss your gum wrapper or gum others’ property regardless the condition of the place. And public property does not belong to you.
b. Not to litter.
c. When you finish your shopping, return the shopping cart to the appropriate place. Why? We should not leave our shopping cart squeezed between two cars because when we drive off, we have no control over that cart. The wind may blow it out into the roadway or into another car.

4. Purchasing labor

In order to truly respect the property of another, a person must understand the relationship between labor and value. Labor defines value. How to teach that? By renumerating labor that the child does for purchasing something specific for himself.

a. The child that labors to earn money to purchase a bike for himself will have a greater appreciation for its value than the child that receives it as a gift.
b. Do not confuse purchasing labor (which is to benefit self) with duty labor (which is to benefit the whole team).
c. This type of labor gives real value to money. Such an experience prepares children to be wise money-managers. Their understanding of the value of a dollar or 100 dollars as a result of their labors forced a greater appreciation of their own toys, personal possessions as well as the property of others.

5. Duty labor

a. Duty labor is not done for money, but to help the family team. Everyone does something in support of the family.
b. Examples of duty labors are setting the table, washing the car, feeding the dog, folding the clothes, etc. Here is the book Let the Children Come Along the Virtuous Way by Ezzo & Ezzo:

How Do You Teach Your Child To Be Sensitive to the Feelings of Others?

JN and J helping to wash the car at the summer house when we had more time while on vacation...
Of course, it took Daddy longer than usual.
But it is important learning that we need to spend the time to teach.

Does your child respond sensitively to the feelings of others?

According to the book "Let the Child Come Along the Virtuous Way" based on the series Growing Kids God's Way, here are the barometers:

1. When your child's neighbor is thirsty, will your child offer him a drink?
2. When your child's neighbor is hungry, will he give of his food?
3. When your child's neighbor is alone, will he give of his friendship?
4. When there is a new child in class, will your child be warm and friendly to him, showing caring and compassionate gesture?
5. How in-touch is your child to the feelings, hurts, pains and needs of other children?

How do you instill a consideration for otherness in your child so that he/she responds sensitively toward the feelings of his peers?

Three ways:

According to the author Ezzo & Ezzo, there are 3 ways:

1. By parental example and instruction in the formation of proper habits.

2. By placing your child in an environment that will encourage service to others, for example family-care household chores

3. By encouraging your children

1. By parental example and instruction in the formation of proper habits

What about ourselves? How do we measure up against these barometers? Are we setting good parental example, one that is genuine?

We need to work on setting a good parental example. We are all fallen creatures and we need God's help in our own character building. Things will come our way that frustrate and agitate us, and we need to deal with them in a good manner. Just this morning, we already had an encounter.

In cultivating a servant's attitude, my family and I have a lot to learn. I am ashamed to admit that I am the selfish one. We need to set a good parental example, but we are not there yet. But looking forward, we will do our best to set a good example. One of the best thing of having a child is that it helps us to continue on working on refining our character, since we want to set a good example. We need God's wisdom and grace. We need God's forgiveness. We need our children's forgiveness for not setting a good example at times. We need to forgive ourselves, and forgetting behind, and looking forward to try again until it becomes our second nature.

2. By placing your child in an environment that will encourage service to others

According to the book, include your children in the experience of serving others daily. It may seem overwhelming, but we can take comfort that we can start from the home.

How can this be done?

The author teaches that we can include our children to whatever extent possible given their age, in helping to secure the welfare of your family.

I quote from the book:

"Researchers from Toronto, Canada and from Macquarie University in Australia studied children from families who were given daily chores and those who were not. Their research pointed toward some interesting conclusions.

Children who performed household chores showed more compassion for their siblings and other family members than children who did not share in family responsibility. Even more interesting was teh fact that not all chores are equal. The kids who did family-care chores like setting table, feeding the cat or bringing in firewood, showed more concern for the welfre of others than children who had only self-care responsibilities, such as making their own bed and handing up their own clothes.

Such research validates the obvious. Whenever children participate in the care of others, they grow sensitive to human need."

What are some suitable family-care household chores?

Here are some examples of 10 suitable chores:

1. Setting or clearing the table.
2. Helping with the weeding of the garden.
3. Helping to water the plants.
4. Helping to prune the plants.
5. Helping to hang the laundry.
6. Helping to fold the clothes.
7. Helping to wash the family car.
8. Helping to feed the family dog or cat.
9. Bringing firewood in every day after school.
10. Helping to bring the garbage out.

3. By encouraging your children

Sibling relationships are the first peer relationships most children will know.

For examples:

1. Encourage them to be happy when something wonderful happens to a sibling or friend, such as when one receives an award, wins a board game or has an opportunity that the others do not have.

2. When it is one child’s birthday, the siblings do not need to receive a gift too. That only robs the birthday child of his special day. It teaches the siblings to selfishly look forward to a day of gifts rather than a day of celebrating the birth of a friend or a sibling. The children will receive a gift – each one on their own birthday.
I quote the author:

"Children by nature, can be tje cruelest members of any society. But children whose hearts are properly shaped can be vessels of honor used by God, bringing mercy to those who know no mercy and grace to those who know no grace.

To have your son or daughter reach out to another child for no other reason than the love of kindess brings God's confirmation to the heart. In that moment, your child's kindness touches the throne of God because his actions please God."

In so doing, we are actually teaching our children to cultivate a servant's attitude to be like Christ.

The Bible says to us in the following verses. Incorporate these Bible verses when teaching and encouraing your children, and yourselves.

Leviticus 19:18 instructs, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
Philippians 2:3 tells us to esteem and regard others higher than ourselves.
Colossians 3:13 instructs us to be, “Forbearing with one another.”
Romans 12:9 says, “In honor giving preference to one another.”
Romans 13:8 instructs, “Love one another.”
Titus 3: 2 instructs us to be courteous to all men.

Lesson I take away from the above

J in general is a generous, kind and gracious boy. Yesterday, we got compliments from a friend for his good behavior - for not running around, holding mommy's hands on the pedestrian path, eating quietly at the restaurant. But the compliment brought a little guilt as I felt that I have actually slowly been neglecting this area. Unknowing to my friend and myself, we might have already reached a peak and on our way on a downward slid in this area. We have started out well for the first three years of J's life. But life's priorities creep in (work, academic pursuits, swimming class, piano class, sports,  Sunday School, travels, leisure activities, etc. etc.) and as J gets older and has more capability for academic work (Maths, Science, geography, Chinese class, English class, etc. etc.), we can all more and more activities start fighting for our time and attention and we have not been so sensitive towards the character development of this area.

In managing work and family life, we have outsourced many things in order to free up time for the family. We have outsourced cleaning to helper and cooking to restaurants/take away places. We go on relaxed vacation when we are not working. They are all well and good, but it has given us much less opportunities to practice the family-care chores. These chores have values on their own, and we might have ironically teach self-centredness in our children in the process of outsourcing these chores.

J doesn't need to do much to care for the family, since we outsource so much of them. I see my nephews and nieces in Singapore. Practically all family-care household chores are outsourced to lived-in domestic maids. Instead of helping, they have someone at their call to do everything for them. Our family needs to re-analyze the balance in this area.

If you are a SAHM, you are blessed, because without outsourcing all these chores, you are in the best placed position to help your children. Don't look at the double-income household who have the extras for vacation and outsourcing the chores and discount those housework and your presence at work with the children.

For me, aside from academic, these are the lessons on character building that I should spend effort and time on. I am still learning to strike a balance, and prayerfully I will gain the wisdom to strike a balance. For what is the gain of academic achievements of J, if J is not sensitive to the feelings of others?

It does not mean that the academic pursuits are not valuable on its own and should be abandoned, but that character building also requires time and effort and should not be relegated to the last place. It may be best not to have the highest grade in the whole class, if it takes all the time in the academic pursuits to reach there, but to have time to teach character building.

I feel hypocritical to write such a post. I have to admit that I have not mastered it yet. Our family has not mastered it yet. I wrote this post to teach myself. As we attempt to teach it to our children J and JN and also the children we come into contact with at Sunday School, we need to work on ourselves in setting a good example. I am working on myself. We are working on ourselves. We hope that you will be patient with us and forgive us, as we take steps forward and yet stumble backwards at times, when we make mistakes, when we fall back to showing inconsideration to others time again and again, be it judging others or not showing grace to others, as God compassionately and gently leads us back to His path.

Here is the book Let the Children Come Along the Virtuous Way by Ezzo & Ezzo:

Books with Biblical Perspective on Handling ADHD

Parenting J and JN has taken a toll on my health, yet how can I leave JN alone in this world to struggle and grow up on his own, while I just focus on my own family? I cannot give up on this work.

As JN grows up to be a 13 year old boy, I began to keenly understand the risk of his well-being and personally understood the words from Focus on Family and others below:

"These young people without proper parental and medical care, can easily become defeated - first academically, then emotionally, socially and spiritually. with prayer and proper care, these specially gifted kids can have academic success. They can discover who God created them to be and find what He has in store for them. God can and does use ADHD in His particular and peculiar plan for your child's life."

I have written a post before about listing down the strengths of your child with ADHD. Yet, we tend to focus on correcting the child's behavior such as fidgeting for example, because "struggles inherent to ADHD of social skill deficits and poor peer relationships are among the strongest predictors of poor social adjustment..." (Guevremont & Dumas, 1994; Hoza, Mrug, Gerdes, Hinshaw, Bukowski, 2005) and we forget to focus on the positive traits behind those behaviors.

A lot can be done simply by being there to encourage, but it is not always easy. It requires emotional strength and resources. I am thankful to the understanding and support that Daddy has been providing me. JN is a teachable boy. It brings me to my knees and give all the burdens to God. It requires understanding. God is a gentle and compassionate God. We can learn a lot how to deal with children with ADHD with patience and wisdom from God. We need to pray to God for wisdom and patience, which is vital and should be an integrated method of handing ADHD.

I am reading up more about the biblical perspective on ADHD and how to help these children.

Below are some Christian-based resources on ADHD:

http://adhd.weebly.com/index.html
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/parenting_challenges/adhd/how_to_help_an_adhd_child.aspx
http://www.everydaychristianity.com/articles/family-life-articles/parenting/a-christians-guide-to-add-and-adhd/

Here are some books providing a biblical perspective on handling ADHD:

Montessori Activity: Cutting with Scissors with Kumon My First Book of Cutting - Part 2

To strengthen his fine motor muscle dexterity, we have been doing a lot of cutting lately. This will hopefully help with his pencil grip.

J has been cutting using the Kumon Cutting Workbook. It is very colorful, and encouraging him to continue cutting. Although I don't correct him when he cuts off the lines, this book really keeps him interested to continue to practise to cut following the lines. It is very systematic. It starts with getting children to cut thick straight lines to thin curve lines. J gets to practise cutting straight lines, curve, circle, pentagon, zig zag and animal shapes.

Kumon is expensive, and it is not really necessary to purchase it. You can simply draw straight lines, curves, circle, zig zag lines on paper and let your child cut them. You can also let your child cut out pictures and challenging shapes from magazine. As a working mom, I also don't have so much time to make the worksheets myself. Thus, I went for Kumon instead. I must also admit that I fell in love with the Japanese Kumon method of developing workbooks which introduces learning with an incremental, step-by-step approach. I find that J is attracted to the color and the pictures in Kumon cutting workbook, making it a lot more fun than those I draw for him to cut. Cutting objects from the magazine sometimes frustrates him. The Kumon cutting workbook captures his attention span a lot more. However, my friend YL has no such problem with her daughter cutting from magazines. She did not use Kumon. So every child is different.

I do feel a little guilty though for cutting away such nice and colorful pages, which is a waste. As such, I kept the book for more than a year after cutting only 1 sheet, before finally allowing J to cut it all up! So he started on this book at 4 years old, although I had the book since he was 2 years old.

It takes J on average 5 minutes to cut one sheet, and he could cut 5 sheets or more a session.

Kumon won 2005 Finalist for the Association of Educational Publishers’ Distinguished Achievement Award. You can find Kumon Cutting Workbook from Amazon:

   

http://amzn.to/1QHDD9f

Frog Is Frog - I Simply Like Myself by Max Velthuijs

This is a an excellent story book introduced to me by my Chinese friend, YL. It teaches children to love themselves in an entertaining and endearing way through a simple story about a frog who wanted to be like his friends Duck, which could fly, Pig, which could bake a cake. In the process, he learns to appreciate his own uniqueness as a frog.

The English title is called "Frog Is Frog" written and illustrated by Max Velthuijs, a Dutch author, who wrote a series of children books portraying the growing up of Frog and his experiences. The Chinese version translated the title to "I Simply Like Myself" which I think is a more fitting to the story than the English title.

I particularly like this book and all his books on the series on Frog. J loves all the books too. However, if you have a limited budget, and need to only pick a book, then I will suggest to pick this book. The Danish version can be borrowed for free from the Danish library.

It brings to mind the famous words of Albert Einstein which this story book illustrated very well:

"Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."

I wished I had read this with JN while he was visiting us in Copenhagen recently. I have been reading this book to J since he was 3 years old, and I read to him again this evening. He could understand more and more now. He acted like the frog learning how to fly and not succeeding:

You can find the English version from Amazon UK here:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Frog-Max-Velthuijs/dp/1849391173/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1372367455&sr=8-4&keywords=Max+Velthuijs

You can read more about this talented Dutch author here:

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/01/28/books/28velthuijs.html?pagewanted=print&position=

Montessori Activity: Story-Telling From A Suitcase

Age: From 3 years old

Objective(s):
1. To cultivate reading habit

Materials:
1. 1 story book: Little Red Riding Hood
2. Puppets (Little Red Riding Hood, Granny, Wolf, Hunter)
3. 1 small suitcase

Directions:
1. Read the story-book to your child with the puppets.
2. Encourage your child to "read" the book and tell a story using the book.

Additional Information:
I learned this activity from J's kindergarten. J (4Y1M4D) brought home a suitcase with the fairytale of Little Red Riding Hood. He was so excited and wanted Daddy to read to him yesterday evening, but we did not have the chance. This morning, he took the suitcase and took out the book. Then he started telling the story by looking at the picture. Here is a video of J telling the story of Little Red Riding Hood, which he learned from his kindergarten, thanks to his kindergarten's teachers :-)He told the whole story 3 times. I recorded it on the video on the third time.

Montessori Activity: Practising Writing Numbers with Dry-Erase Book/练习夹击把握

Age: From 3 years old

Activity Duration: 5 - 15 minutes

Objectives:

1. To train fine motor skills esp. pencil grisp

2. To provide a fun way of learning how to write numbers

Materials:

1. Dry-Erase Number Book

2. Whyteboard marker

Directions:

1. Demonstrate to your child how to trace the number. Then count the objects together.

2. Invite your child to try

Additional Information:

I bought this book from Popular Bookshop (www.popular.com.sg) in Singapore. This book is just published in July 2011. The quality is very good and compared to the dry-erase board from Amazon, it is very cheap. It works very well. This book is in Chinese. I wanted to also get something similar in English, but I could not find it.

Joshua (2Y10M9D) practised pincer grasp and writing numbers today with this book. Initially, he got discouraged for not able to follow the line. Oh dear, Joshua is showing signs of being afraid to make mistakes. This is not the objective of this exercise!

I wondered how I can encourage him to continue. Then an idea came to my mind. I will demonstrate by making mistakes. Then I show him my mistakes. Then I said, "That is alright, mommy will try again." I repeated this several times to show that practice makes perfect. He took it up and began to get teh courage to try again and again.

Thank God for answering my prayers and helping me to solve problems as they arise and walking along this parenting path with me.

References:

http://blessedmom.hubpages.com/hub/How-to-teach-kids-to-hold-a-pencil