J Summary (5Y0M4D) - Our Third Weekly Family Meeting Night (WFMN)

It has been an extremely busy week because of my exams, but it was over on Friday, so we could focus on the family for the weekend.

After the first 2 times, I had gained experiences and became more efficient with organising WFMN. All the materials were gathered and as a bonus snacks were ready too (they are more of a treat, and not expected for every WFMN.) I managed to make pizza for dinner tonight before the meeting and made some healthy snacks for the WFMN - banana bread, grapes and the avocado milkshake (did this together with J).

I served the avocado milkshade with J's toy teacups and teapot, making it into a memorable Children's Tea Time setting, thus killing two birds with one stone. So it was more fun that J could not wait to start :-)

You can read more about the importance of Children's Tea Time here:

http://momlearnings.blogspot.dk/2012/04/joshua-summary-3y1m12d-tea-time-with.html

The only thing I did not do, was that I did not commit our WFMN this week to prayer, because the whole week I was preoccupied with my studies. Although it was nice with the snacks and this meeting scored high on coziness. However, the dimension of quietening ourselves down for learning seemed to be missing during this meeting... still I was grateful that we managed to hold it.

Weekly Family Meeting Night Agenda

Date: Sunday 9 March 2014
Time: 7-8.45pm (1.75 hours)

7-7.15pm: Review Family Calendar & Thanksgiving & Affirmation (30 mins)

We opened with a prayer. We discussed next week's engagements - invitation by friends, meeting with bank. We discussed the idea of volunteering every Thursday with J at a old folks' home. This meant taking J out from kindergarten. Daddy was fine with the idea.

We each shared something that we are thankful for the week:
Mommy: Grateful for Daddy's support for a super hectic week with Diploma assignment to be handed up, grateful for the super dino cake, grateful for wonderful email from a sweet friend, A.
Daddy: Thankful that Mommy managed to finish the exam.
J: Grateful for the same things (copy cat)

There are so many things to be thankful for this week we shared in today's meeting  in the midst of major challenges in our lives right now. Thank God for a super-time with farfar and farmor, thank God that my cough has FULLY recovered, despite of the stress of taking exams, thank God for the Family Fun Night last night that went so well, thank God that my parents are all well in Singapore.... too long to fill this post.

7.15-7.25pm: Set Goals for Next Week (10 mins)

We reviewed the goals we set for this week. We all achieved our goals :-)

Next week's goal:

We each set a goal for next week:
Daddy: Spring is here, start doing sports 1-2 twice a week.
Mommy: Same goal :-)
J: Same goal :-)

So it became a family goal :-)

7.25-7.30pm: Talent Show (5 mins)

J performed for us on the piano.

7.30-8.25pm: Short Lesson (1 hour)

Daddy read aloud half of chapter 3 of the book "Mit livs mosaics." about farfar's childhood. J wasn't quite paying attention though. We continued to persevered on. I really enjoyed learning about them.

I read the ABC Bible Verses book aloud - Letter A. Not sure if J was really paying attention, at least not enough that I would like to see. But we should not get discouraged. Hopefully somewhere in the subconscious, he has learned it.

8.15-8.30pm: Sing & Pray (5 mins)

We closed with a word of prayer, thankful that our family meeting got on well, despite a little challenging start. We thanked God for a good week, and prayed for God's guidance for the next week. We forgot to pray for the Malaysian flight went missing, although it was on my mind, but J was distracting me too much. I need to remember to pray with the family tomorrow.

We sang one song from our song file "God is Good, All the Time", while mainly me who sang it, as Daddy and J did not know this song. I learned it from my time in church in Singapore.

J rang the bell to signal the end of our WFMN before the short Fun Time of the program:

8.30-8.45pm: Fun Time (15 mins)

We had fun playing with At The Farm board game "På Bondegården" again. This time, we had time only for one round.

Daddy lost. J and I were a tie. We remembered to end with our Family Cheers to celebrate the victory :-) - J started the full version.

Here were our first two experiences with WFMNs:
http://momlearnings.blogspot.com/2014/02/j-summary-4y11m18d-our-first-weekly.html
http://momlearnings.blogspot.com/2014/03/j-summary-4y11m25d-our-second-weekly.html

 

If you wish to know more about how to implement WFMN, ideas for WFMN and a sample WFMN schedule, the following are the links to my posts:

http://momlearnings.blogspot.dk/2014/02/how-to-implement-weekly-family-time-wft.html
http://momlearnings.blogspot.dk/2014/02/10-practical-ideas-on-what-to-include.html
http://momlearnings.blogspot.dk/2014/02/sample-weekly-family-meeting-wfm-agenda.html

If you weary and giving up, here are some encouragements to cheer you to press on:

http://momlearnings.blogspot.dk/2014/02/how-to-press-on-for-weekly-family.html

Here are some healthy homemade snacks and drinks to entice your family to come for the meeting :-)
http://momlearnings.blogspot.dk/search/label/Wholesome%20Snacks
http://momlearnings.blogspot.dk/search/label/Wholesome%20Snacks

J Summary (4Y11M22D) - Good Words from His Kindergarten

This morning I fetched J to the kindergarten today, and one of the staff, T, saw me and told me how clever J is. I was very surprised and glad to hear and asked what he was doing so well. She said that he was very good at swimming yesterday (Once every two weeks, the teachers will bring the kids to swimming and yesterday J went swimming with them).

Have been struggling with some tough trials and tribulations in other areas of my life that are not going so well. Tears can't help dropping down my cheeks and I ask God for his deliverance. Although God has not delivered me from those trials, but God just sent His love and encouragement and in the area of motherhood that is going very well at the moment to encourage me. Oh thank you God.

Thank God also for showing me that my perseverance and hardwork of taking J to the swimming class every Friday seems to have reaping the benefits.

J Summary (4Y11M18D) - Our First Weekly Family Meeting Night (WFMN)

Our first family meeting went well, despite a little rough start.

The meeting finally got started at 6.30pm, half an hour later than planned. Thus, I didn't have time to prepare a nice snack - just plain drinking water, but that was also fine.

J was very excited, but fell off his chair quite badly just at the start of the meeting and hurt himself. The next 5 mins was hijacked by crying that felt like it lasted an eternity... followed by sitting on Daddy's or my lap for the rest of the evening.

The review of our calendar took longer than planned - 30 mins compared to 10 mins. We did read together the my father-in-law's book "Mit livs mosaics," although I completely forgot to read the ABC Bible Verses book!

J's frequent disruption in the meeting was fortunately saved by this bell, which I rang to get order and regard for the meeting.

Despite that, it was a success as it was better than what I had imagined it would turn out - we did hold the meeting, we did keep it light rather than burdensome and there was lots of cooperativeness from everyone. God has answered my prayer.

I am thankful that:

1. Despite all the fumbling, we managed to hold the meeting.
2. J's excitement for the meeting - he was the first to sit down by the sofa table.
3. We managed to review our calendar.
4. We managed to read a book together and it was fun.
5. J was willing to perform a piece for us on the piano (although the piece was only good enough for our ears.)
6. We managed to open and end the meeting with a prayer.
7. Everyone was very cooperative to share one thing each was grateful for that day, including J.
8. We managed to sing a song, "Jesus Loves Me," and J was enthusiastic and Daddy went along without feeling (too) bored.
9. We managed to inject some fun, instead of just discussing the mandane. We didn't have the time to play a real board game, but we played 4-in-a-line and had fun together.
10. I got to know Daddy's and J's goal and I was very touched. It was a wise goal J had set for himself, and give me a chance to follow-up and encourage him for the next week.

For our meeting next week, hopefully I will manage to make a healthy snack or drink - avocado milkshade - that was what I promised to J.

Our actual agenda turned out like this:

Weekly Family Meeting Night Agenda (1.5 hours)

Date: Sunday 23 February 2014
Time: 6.30-8pm (1.5 hours)

6.30-7pm: Review Family Calendar (30 mins)

We opened with a word of prayer.

Discussed Chinese cultural trip to China end July early August or receiving Chinese students's visit to Denmark. Review practicalities for next week.

7-7.25pm: Short Lesson (30 mins)

Daddy read aloud chapter 1 of the book "Mit livs mosaics" published by my sister-in-law to J and we learned about our family history together:

You can see more pictures here:

http://momlearnings.blogspot.dk/2014/02/take-on-book-project-of-recording-down.html

7.25-7.30pm: Talent Show (10 mins)

J played "Lille Peder Eddekop" (although the piece was only good enough for our ears):

7.30-7.40pm: Set Goals for Next Week, Thanksgiving & Affirmation (10 mins)

Mom: "Next week, I aim to finish my CIPS 4 assignment."
Dad: "To prepare for his PDD and to go to bed early."
J: "Not to get into argument with other kids in kindergarten."

J was grateful for his cousin Nikoline's help with making his birthday cake today.
I am grateful to Daddy for helping me with a difficult task today and he did it without me asking. Daddy was grateful that I organized the family meeting and my enthuaism to bring the family closer together.

We introduced the family cheers and ended the meeting with it:

7.40-7.45pm: Sing & Pray (10 mins)

We closed with a word of prayer, thankful that our family meeting got on well, despite a little challenging start. We sang one song, "Jesus loves me."

7.45-8pm: Fun Time (15 mins)

We played 4-in-a-line game.

We didn't manage to do School Time this evening, as all the time before bedtime was used on family meeting. But it was all worth it.

If you wish to know more about how to implement WFM, ideas for WFM and a sample WFM schedule, the following are the links to my posts:

http://momlearnings.blogspot.dk/2014/02/how-to-implement-weekly-family-time-wft.html
http://momlearnings.blogspot.dk/2014/02/10-practical-ideas-on-what-to-include.html
http://momlearnings.blogspot.dk/2014/02/sample-weekly-family-meeting-wfm-agenda.html

If you weary and giving up, here are some encouragements to cheer you to press on:

http://momlearnings.blogspot.dk/2014/02/how-to-press-on-for-weekly-family.html

Here are some healthy homemade snacks and drinks to entice your family to come for the meeting :-)
http://momlearnings.blogspot.dk/search/label/Wholesome%20Snacks
http://momlearnings.blogspot.dk/search/label/Wholesome%20Snacks

J Summary (4Y11M16D) - Can Zip His Own Jacket

Today I noticed for the first time that J could zip up his blue winter jacket all on his own very easily. I have been helping him all along, up to today. So I don't need to help him any longer from now on.

Piano playing has also been going very smoothly the last few days and this morning. I think it is the result of me being better able to see all the correct notes that J played, rather than all the mistakes that he made.

It took lesser time for him to perfect a piece, more enthuasism with playing the piano and I didn't have to drag and persuade him to play.

I am very glad that I was able to restraint myself and see all the progress he has made, rather than the imperfection. Thank you God for being me adjust and correct myself daily.

J Summary (4Y11M15D) - Took Inniative

This morning, J brought the dishes to the kitchen counter after breakfast, all on his own without my prompting. Later, J took own initiative to put on his jacket and his shoes and waited for me at the door, all without me reminding him at all.

This evening, J again took the dishes to the kitchen counter after dinner on his own initiative.

It coincided with our introduction of each family member taking turn to mention one thing that he/she was grateful for that day. It gave me the perfect opportunity to cide J's initiative in the morning and at dinner time as the thing that I was grateful for that day :-)

Thanksgiving: For Good Idea for Our Family's WFMN

This week, I have been praying very consciously for a desire that I had for a long long time, that is to start Weekly Family Meeting Night (WFMN) in our family.

I had not been confident that it would be well-received and thus I have not implemented it. Last year had been a very hectic year with no extra time. Now that I am working part-time, it has given us more breathing space and a chance to re-look into this wish.

WFM will be my goal this year. I need to be more intentional about it. I am just thinking how to ensure buy-in from my Significant Other, that he would see the benefits and be enthusiasstic and willing to come alongside as a team.

My greatest desire for WFMN is to have weekly learning time, so that we teach life values to J. The highest standard of all is the biblical standards - love, kindness, compassion, selflessness, empathy, considerateness, considering the preciousness of others... And how to best teach it to J and ourselves?

My Significant Other is not one who is the most enthusiastic about reading the Bible or any devotion book for the Bible.

Yesterday, an idea came to my head. I can still teach values to J through other means that my Significant Other will find easy, acceptable and attractive to participate.

My sister-in-law just published a book last December on our family history. We can read through a chapter of the book written about my father-in-law - "Mit livs mosaik" meaning "My Life's Mosaics" in English. It is his biography. We will be able to learn alot. We will also be able to teach and share with J his family heritage, teach him respect for elders, teach him about family values and teach him about life.

I am so thankful for my sister-in-law for writing this book after a year of interviewing my father-in-law, writing and editing. It is her fruit of the labour that will benefit the future generations.

I thank God for this idea, and for helping me to slowly let our WFM take shape.

I am very excited!!! I will continue to pray and ask for God's guidance.

J Summary (4Y10M26D) - Parenting J in the Lord

J sometimes says to me that since Daddy is not going to church, he does not want to go to church too. Sometimes, he says he is lazy to go to church and rather stay at home with Daddy. It sometimes discourages me, and I find it doubly hard to find the energy to go to church. I tried to teach J's Christian values as much as I can. I tried to encourage JN in Singapore from afar. Sometimes, I feel that I am failing, and my labours are in vain.

Today, my friend YL shared with me about her daughter, A, who is 5 years old and now back in China. They used to be my neighbours. I used to bring A to church along with J. A did not seem very interested, at least, not according to what I judge as interest. And I didn't think that I had been such a perfect example to her either.

Back in China last December, A asked YL to bring her to church. They went to church together on Christmas Eve in 2013. The church in Xiamen China was packed and overflowed with people that the service was conducted outdoors. The ordinary Chinese folk are hungering for God in their lives.

One day, YL and A passed by Chinese temples, YL asked A, what religion she would like to choose when she grows up. A said that she would like to choose church just like Aunt E (that's me).

YL told me that I had planted a seed with A. It is like God telling me, "E, continue to be diligent and bring J to church. Do not look at the immediate results. Do not consider too much what J says. You are planting the seed, and you just need to be faithful, even when your efforts are seen in your eyes as "failing." Trust in me, just do your part, and leave J's heart to me."

Thank you God for this sharing by YL. YL is not a Christian, but she told me that she has started praying to God.

At times, my faith in God wavers, and I felt guilty that I have not been too good a testimony at my workplace and with the people around me - judged by my own standards, and truely I have not.

Yet God chose to use me to minister to YL and A, yet not by my efforts, as I simply just drove the car, brought A to church and brought her back. It was God who did the work, yet God used me in His work.

At times, when my faith wavers, and I question my own love for God, this episode quietens down my heart and assures me once again that it was by grace that I was saved. It was by grace that God used me, a very imperfect and sinful person, to participate in His work.

Quietly God is whispering to me, to continue to pray for J and JN and be faithful. The load is His and I don't have to carry this load. I will leave J and JN to God.

I am filled with thankfulness.

JN Summary - Growing into a Fine Young Man with a Healthy Self-Esteem

Oh how thankful I am for the progress he has made. JN has a healthy outlook and triving. I no longer sense such a low self-esteem.

I was back in SG and invested some time to have some one-to-one time with JN today. JN came to our hotel. We went to the Gym together and had a swim at the hotel together with J and Daddy. We had sushi at Citylink together. Then JN and I went for a long walk along Marina Bay and MBS, while Daddy went back with J and put J to bed. JN stopped by to try to meet his mom during her work break. I was happy that he made the effort and wanting to see his wife during the break. JN and I sat down at the MBS Singapore river front and chit chat. It was a nice cool evening with the breeze blowing as we sat there.

For the first time, he shared about more deeper things in life - the usual challenges a typical teenager faces. I am very glad to have the privilege of him opening up and sharing to me as a friend. I think that it what all parents hope for when their children is a teenager. JN would be turning 14 years old this year. I hope that J would do the same, when he becomes a teenager.

JN has made much progress in school. He passed all his final secondary 1 exams in 2013 and with better improved grades. He served as volunteer with his teacher Mr. Tan making pine-apple tarts at the Hidding Place (a Christian based organization in Singapore providing shelter to youth on the edge and drug addicts where his form Mr. Tan is volunteering as a teacher and tutor helping these youths with their "O" levels).

JN doing well in school and is doing his homework responsibly without prompting. All these changes are amazing and miraculous considering someone with ADHD, and I thank God for graciously giving us all these fruits. JN's father reported that JN is more matured now, thus confirming my observations.

I am jotting all these down to remember them.

Of course, the work is not complete, and there are still challenges. But dear God, thank you for answering my prayers so far, proving that You are a real, faithful and loving God, wanting the best for us, a God whom we can completely trust.

I will continue to trust God that God will continue to walk with JN, guide him and mold him into a fine young man with character.I

t has been a high price to pay for my going part-time, yet God has rewarded and returned to me much more precious than what money could never buy. Thank you dear God for your blessings.

When doubts set in, when anxiety is near, I will disband it and remember all God's faithfulness in answered prayers such as this. Thank you God. When facing discouragements and disappointments in life that brings me low, I want to remember all these things that I am thankful for.

J Summary (4Y9M11D) - J's Very First Piano Performance at the Christmas Concert

 

 

I was off today and spent the day with J, instead of putting him at the kindergarten. We had a slow breakfast and breakfast devotion together, where I read from a book and the Bible. J opened his Christmas Lego Calendar after breakfast. He played with LEGO. We practised the piano and the 2 songs that he would be playing this evening at the Christmas concert. It went very well, and we did not have to spend so much time practising. J worked on the Teen Board & Beads, this time around in Danish. The next session hopefully sometime this week will be in English. We made pancakes together. J loves to help me with it. We ate the pancakes for lunch. Thereafter, we went to Lyngby Store Center to see the Christmas Village display. We also went to H&M and I bought him a pair of McQueen homeshoes. J loves McQueen. This was a reward for him for doing so well with his piano practice and Montessori Maths. He really put in good effort, although it takes quite a bit of repetition for him to remember the numbers in Danish. He is better with the numbers in Mandarin. We went for Suzuki piano class thereafter, and it went very well. The Suzuki-method teacher, Katrine, was very happy with him and gave him 30 points and a sticker. We went for the Christmas Concert, where J performed two pieces. It went very well. J played with slowly, calmly and smoothly, although it was not perfect, and he did make some errors, but he was very calm about it. His Finnish-method piano teacher, Kati, was very happy with him. I want to remember today. It was such a joy to be able to spend time with our child. I am very grateful to have this opportunity, although I am not sure how long this will last, and that I have to return to work full-time. I truely enjoy being with J and I pray and hope that my part-time arrangement will last.

J Summary (4Y9M7D) - Little Blessing from God

J tidied the big commforter all by himself

Like most kids, J always has to be nudged to get dress, make his bed and prepare his own breakfast. For the past mornings, it had always been a struggle.

This morning I woke up, J told Daddy that he wanted to give me a surprise. J closed his bedroom door. He got dressed and made his bed. I usually helped him with the big comforter, and he usually tidies up the baby blanket and pillow, but today, he tidied up the big adult-size comforter himself. He had been a very sweet and sensible little boy.

I was very touched and I told him that it was the best present that he has given to Mommy. And I thank God for this blessing, which money cannot buy.

The burdens of life at work lately have weighed down my heart.... and in this seemingly never-ending tunnel, God sent pockets of lights like silver linings in the clouds from J to cheer my heart. I have to remember this. Thank you God, and please forgive me for all my complaints.

Though we may not always know the reasons why, one thing I know, this trial has deepened my relationship with my Significant Other and connected us deeper emotionally. His empathy, his comfort, his listening, his arms around my shoulders. Without this trial, I wouldn't have experienced the sweetness of comfort from my closest loved ones. So even in tough trials, God's blessings are shining through, even as I continue to pray and cry out to God for His deliverance. And even though I wish God will take away all the struggles and hardships I am currently bearing, I will not trade it for my deepest longing for my Significant Other and J to know God personally.

In the midst of my pains, I thank God for His truely priceless peace and joy, that He had given me through my family. And I trust that He will deliver me and show me the way in His time.

I will continue to cling on to Psalms 37:1-28 and remember God's little blessings to me and be encouraged:

Do not fret because of evil men

or be envious of those who do wrong;

for like the grass they will soon wither,

like green plants they will soon die away.

 

Trust in the LORD and do good;

dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

Delight yourself in the LORD

and He will give you the desires of your heart.

 

Commit your way to the LORD;

trust in Him and He will do this:

He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,

the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

 

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;

do not fret when men succeed in their ways,

when they carry out their wicked schemes.

 

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;

do not fret - it leads only to evil.

For evil men will be cut off,

but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.

 

A little while, and the wicked will be no more;

though you look for them, they will not be found.

But the meek will inherit the land

and enjoy great peace.

 

The wicked plot against the righteous

and gnash their teeth at them;

but the Lord laughs at the wicked,

for he knows their day is coming.

 

The wicked draw the sword

and bend the bow

to bring down the poor and needy,

to slay those whose ways are upright.

But their swords will pierce their own hearts,

and their bows will be broken.

 

Better the little that the righteous have

than the wealth of many wicked;

for the power of the wicked will be broken,

but the LORD upholds the righteous.

 

The days of the blameless are known to the LORD,

and their inheritance will endure forever.

In times of disaster they will not wither;

in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.

 

But the wicked will perish:

The LORD's enemies will be like the beauty of the fields,

they will vanish - vanish like smoke.

 

If the LORD delights in a man's way,

he makes his steps firm;

though he stumble, he will not fall,

for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

 

I was young and now I am old,

yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken

or their children begging bread.

They are always generous and lend freely;

their children will be blessed.

 

Turn from evil and do good;

then you will dwell in the land forever.

For the LORD loves the just

and will not sake his faithful ones.

A very sweet and sensible boy

J Summary (4Y8M12D) - I Love You, Mommy

It was bedtime, and J was about to fall asleep. I went into J's room to put back the books. J said, "Mommy, I love you." and then he said, "Goodnight, mommy." It filled me with love and warmth. There is nothing more I would ask for in life. I went to him and said, "Thank you for telling mommy that. Mommy appreciates what you said."

J Summary (4Y8M2D) - Succeeded in Playing Piano with Two Hands

Updates on 26 Nov. 2013

We try to stick to practising the piano every day. Five minutes each time is our goal. It is hard work. It requires discipline. At times, J wants to give up. Yesterday, he succeeded playing half the piece simultaneously coordinating it with two hands.

This morning, he succeeded playing the whole piece simultaneously coordinating with two hands.

Then he turned to me and said, "Mommy, thank you for practising piano with me, for going to Chinese class with me, for doing Montessori with me, for bringing me for swimming, for making time so that Daddy can bring me to football. You are the best mom I have." Tears almost roll down my face... I put his hand to my heart and said, "Thank you."

But I was taking it with a pinch of salt... I could not quite believe what he said, as at times he complains about playing piano, etc., at times he is not very self-motivated, so how could he thank me for it? So I asked him again to confirm, "You mean I am the best mom, because I take you to piano lesson and Chinese lesson? He said, "Yes." And he want to continue piano, Chinese and football...

I want to remember today...

This was followed by kissess and hugs and kisses and hugs from him, and I want to remember the look in his eyes as he kissed and hugged me and said those words. He followed me around the kitchen and hugged me from behind. He followed me around the washroom and hugged me from behind.

Up in the washroom, I still didn't quite believe that he would thank me for bringing him for piano class, so I asked him again, "Why do you call me the best mom?" And he repeated the same words with kisses and hugs.

At times, I doubt if we should continue piano, Chinese, football, etc. J would complain that I talk too much. J would tell me not to correct him. Should we persevere on? Should we give up? Should we spend time doing all these with our kids? At times, I am confused.

But today I am reminded that if we persevere on until our kids make progress, they may turn around and thank us for supporting them through their tough learning period, until they make headway bit-by-bit.

Thank you God for clearing my doubts and answering my prayers, each time I am uncertain about what to do, each time as I try to figure out the daily challenges. In Your time, You answered me....

On days when I feel like a Dr. jekyll and Mr. hyde, swaying to-&-fro about my decision in going part-time, I will remember J's words...

Thank you God.

Below are memories of J's performance:

Suzuki concert 21 October 2014 (5Y7M16D)

19 June 2014 (5Y3M14D)

Suzuki concert 29 May 2014 (5Y2M24D):

Concert 23 May 2014 (5Y2M18D):

Suzuki concert 29 April 2014 (5Y1M24D)

JN Summary - Passed ALL His Exams!!!

JN wrote me an email saying that he had good news to tell me last week, and waiting eagerly for my weekly call to Singapore. I had not been able to call for 2 weeks since I was on business trip and vacation in New York.

I phoned him last Friday and he told me that he had passed ALL his Secondary 1 NT exams - English, Maths, Science and Chinese!!! He failed all his subjects during the mid-year, and that was the news I received, when he visited us in Copenhagen. I didn't have any high hopes, except that he would do his best. We will love him unconditionally.

Whenever we have some time between sight-seeing and resting, I have introduced him to Khan Academy (www.khanacademy.com) and he practised his Maths.

So what a pleasant surprise to hear that he had passed all his exams and came in second in English in his class. This has given him much more confidence, and I really congratulate him for his hard work. It also gave him the confidence that he could reign in his ADHD as he grows older, and perhaps this is a sign that the ADHD is diminishing.

He will be joing half of his class to switch to Normal Academic Maths from the current Normal Technical Maths.

I asked him what made the difference, and he told me it is a mixture of having good teachers, tutors and his own efforts (and I believe that Khan Academy helped too). My gratefulness to his teacher Mr. Tan and his Maths relief teacher for their hard work in providing remedial classes after school. These are the things I truly appreciate about Singapore - having teachers who care. (Mr. Tan also offers tuition and classes for those who came out of prisons in Singapore, providing them a second chance to take their GCE "O" levels exams.)

I told JN that it was really well done that he did well for his exams, but that his self-esteem should also not depend on academic work, otherwise, his life will be a yoyo, going up and down according to his grades. God loves him (full-stop). And I also took the time to teach that one should not neglect character development. Character development is the most important, above everything else. JN listened in.

Talking about character development, this is also one of the reasons I am going part-time. I am so lacking in it. I am reading the "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" and really trying to form good habits, with God's help. I realize that I could not do things with my own strength - the spirit is willing, but the flesh is soooooo weak! At times, I feel discouraged, but I have to pick myself up and try again. At times, I feel I am such a lousy mother, but I have to forgive myself and try again.

I wish I could do more for JN from afar... but God is faithful. In moments of my discouragement, God showed me that He is in control. He has helped JN to do well for his exams - which was really a miracle, considering how badly he performed during his mid-year exams.

This is a thanks-giving to God. How unworthy I am (I tend to look at black spots and get discouraged), yet how kind and compassionate He is. He enables JN to have self-motivation even as JN battles against ADHD. He enables J to have self-motivation for practising the piano and practising penmanship. He enabled J to be super patient with us, as we did a whole day of shopping at Woodberry in New York. Most of all, God has seen my father through a successful heart operation and even kept his kidney functioning (doctor said there was a high chance that after the op, kidney dialysis would be required), but this did not have to take place. All the miracles, how I thank and praise our God.

Life is never fair, and full of ups and downs, but in the midst of pains, discouragements and struggles, God gave so many many blessings along the way to cheer me up. I don't deserve it, and I am truly truly thankful.

God helps me to stay faithful in my weekly phone call to JN. No matter no insignificant my efforts are, any fruits are in God's hand. I just need to be faithful.

To create conversation topics, I sent JN the book "7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens" to spur him on character development. I have been trying to practise the "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" and "7 Habits of Highly Effective Marriage" after attending a workshop sent by our boss from my workplace. Not one who is eloquent and good in talking and counselling, I can only rely on God and His mercy and loving-kindness and pray that God will help me in the months ahead. Here is the book:

I have also bought this book for myself, and going part-time will allow me to read more books. I have so much to learn, and even more that I need to learn to do into practise - practise, practise, practise:

J Summary (4Y7M12D) - Took Own Initiative to Practise the Piano

We just got back from New York. My last business trip, before I went part-time (while, technically it was my first business trip while on part-time work, since my part-time work started 1 October 2013, and this business trip took place 8 October 2013, but it will certainly be my last business trip, otherwise it does not make sense that I am going part-time!) My Significant Other and J came along for an extended vacation.

The jet lag from New York and the lack of sleep has taken its toll and J felt sick today and stayed away from kindergarten. It was my first real day off work after going part-time. It felt so good that I could stay at home with him, without feeling bad about having to take a sick leave, since I am not working today.

At first, I was a little disappointed that J was sick on our first real day together after I went part-time, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It gave me a chance to nurse him without feeling guilty that I am taking time off work, and that took the pressure off, and I could be totally relaxed, since it was my time.

We had such a relaxed and wonderful bonding time together, if anything. We spoke Mandarin the whole day, something which I had felt could be better, but since I was working full-time, my time was limited with him (well relatively-speaking as compared to many other working moms, I think I have made a lot of effort with all the time I have left).

We had a slow and relaxed breakfast without rushing - oatmeal porridge. While waiting for me to prepare breakfast, J was very cooperative to do some homework. He did a page of Chinese handwriting practise and coloring. Not all days are like that :-) and I better enjoy while it last. I got the chance to stock up the food cubes - carrot puree (which I add to his oatmeal). He initiated to play Montessori after breakfast. But while waiting for me to finish washing the dishes after breakfast, he played with Lego, and after that, wanted me to play with Lego with him. I wasn't working, so we built a Lego hospital together. I showed him patiently (relatively more patient compared to when I was working full-time, there I found myself unavoidingly looking at the efficiency of time, and caught myself counting the minutes) how to build it according to the instruction booklet. He and I then improvised it. There were times, when he asked me to help him. He has this tendency to ask for help, without first trying out on his own. Having time on my side, I told him that I would give him some time to try on his own without my help, and then I would help him after he has made the attempt. I agreed with J to set the timer for 10 minutes for him to try out on his own. He did, and he built the green plant from the McQueen Lego himself just half the time before the time went off. I commended him for doing his way and said that it was totally good. I also showed him how to fixt the one shown on picture, so that he was able to see the steps, and he replicated it thereafter. It was good that he was willing to try it out on his own.

We went on to Pretend Play - Playing Supermarket and Montessori activity - Geometric Solids, both of which he had chosen.

I made chicken noodle soup for lunch. After lunch, I was tired that I allowed myself a nap, since I have not fully recovered from our New York trip. It was the first time in years I had managed to allow myself a nap. J only napped for 10 minutes and went downstairs to play. I thought I should direct him what to play, but since we have more time now that I am on part-time, I didn't resolve through. Besies I was in need of a nap.

While I was sleeping, I heard him practising the piano, all on his own initiative. I was pleasantly surprised. I was glad that I didn't follow through my resolve to direct his play, before I napped. It was a lot sweeter, when I had the chance to see that he has chosen to play the piano all out of his own iniative. That means that he wanted it himself.

I was not there to correct him. He practised "Perrot Siger til Månen" and "Oles Nye Autobil." He played again until he got the pieces correct. The self-motivation was his own. I realized that my presence in the past may have discouraged him to play the piano, as I had the tendency to correct him when he pressed the wrong note. It was a good lesson to learn.

J asked from downstairs what I thought of his playing, and I commended him from upstairs that he played very well.

J requested for tea-time and we have tea-time together at 4pm.

  

Being with J the whole day did not quite allowed me to cook a real dinner, and he was too hungry, so we had the lunch leftover noodle soup. I didn't get to touch on doing any laundry. Haven't quite have a routine yet, now that I am working part-time.

This evening, I told J that I was very proud of him that he practised the piano all on his own without any of my prompting today. I was also very proud that he corrected his own errors. He said that it was easier for him to correct his own errors, just as Kati the piano teacher said. I should try to achieve this balance.

J is a child and is not 100% obedience all the time, but there are good days and bad days, and today has been a wonderful day.

Because I am now on part-time, I was able to allow Daddy to work a little later today to catch up on his work, since we have been away to New York. It definitely allowed some buffer to our day. Still the day went by so fast, that we were late for J's bed time, as we went out to buy groceries at 6pm and came back at 7pm, where his ideal Bed-time cum Schooltime starts at 6.30pm.

It has been a full day (I still did not get to do everything I would have liked to), and a very simple normal non-glamour day, with J, but very enjoyable, because it was unrushed. I was more patient and allowed more time to slip away, without feeling the pinch for time, which was so when I was working full-time. It was nice to be able to enjoy a simple day at home. With all the challenges of working part-time, I am thankful I made the choice and am very grateful to have the choice approved by my employer. I still have a lot to learn (learning to have time for myself without feeling guilty, learning to be less achievement and result oriented), and this year of part-time of learning has just only begun.

People asked what I am going to do with the time I have now. Really I don't have much ambition, except to enjoy the presence of J, to have time for myself (it should be easy, but it is not), and I guess these are my unambitious goals. It should be easy to reach at the end of the year of going part-time.

I also find that ironically, I am having less time for my blog, even as I have gone part-time. J's activities are increasing (piano, Chinese class, swimming and football) and those time released from me going part-time will be going to these activities. I am learning to be more selective of my posts - less pictures and organized text - not a recipe for blog success. Ironically, now that I have gone part-time, I should have more time for my blog, but my blog is more and more for me to remember our lives, and less and less aimed at readership, as I find that I have less time for it.

The first real day of going part-time, and I could see that I have no regrets doing so. I am jotting this down so that years down the road, when J leaves the nest and I started to regret going part-time all these years (as I am seeing many empty nests mom tend to do - regretting that they stayed home), this would help me to remember what a difference it had made to our simple everyday life.