Friday 31 January 2014


J Summary (4Y10M26D) - Parenting J in the Lord

J sometimes says to me that since Daddy is not going to church, he does not want to go to church too. Sometimes, he says he is lazy to go to church and rather stay at home with Daddy. It sometimes discourages me, and I find it doubly hard to find the energy to go to church. I tried to teach J's Christian values as much as I can. I tried to encourage JN in Singapore from afar. Sometimes, I feel that I am failing, and my labours are in vain.

Today, my friend YL shared with me about her daughter, A, who is 5 years old and now back in China. They used to be my neighbours. I used to bring A to church along with J. A did not seem very interested, at least, not according to what I judge as interest. And I didn't think that I had been such a perfect example to her either.

Back in China last December, A asked YL to bring her to church. They went to church together on Christmas Eve in 2013. The church in Xiamen China was packed and overflowed with people that the service was conducted outdoors. The ordinary Chinese folk are hungering for God in their lives.

One day, YL and A passed by Chinese temples, YL asked A, what religion she would like to choose when she grows up. A said that she would like to choose church just like Aunt E (that's me).

YL told me that I had planted a seed with A. It is like God telling me, "E, continue to be diligent and bring J to church. Do not look at the immediate results. Do not consider too much what J says. You are planting the seed, and you just need to be faithful, even when your efforts are seen in your eyes as "failing." Trust in me, just do your part, and leave J's heart to me."

Thank you God for this sharing by YL. YL is not a Christian, but she told me that she has started praying to God.

At times, my faith in God wavers, and I felt guilty that I have not been too good a testimony at my workplace and with the people around me - judged by my own standards, and truely I have not.

Yet God chose to use me to minister to YL and A, yet not by my efforts, as I simply just drove the car, brought A to church and brought her back. It was God who did the work, yet God used me in His work.

At times, when my faith wavers, and I question my own love for God, this episode quietens down my heart and assures me once again that it was by grace that I was saved. It was by grace that God used me, a very imperfect and sinful person, to participate in His work.

Quietly God is whispering to me, to continue to pray for J and JN and be faithful. The load is His and I don't have to carry this load. I will leave J and JN to God.

I am filled with thankfulness.

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