Friday, 12 July 2013

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Hope & Encouragement for ADHD Parents and Children

Many well-meaning friends told me that I should not play God to attempt to help in something that I do not have the ability, but to take care of myself and my family, and not give up on my career, which I appreciate and am truly touched.

But I cannot give up this work. Yes, he is only my nephew and yes, I am not the parent and I don't have to give myself this responsibility. No, I am not Mother Theresa and far from being able to be so selfless like her, who give up her life for others. Yet I cannot let my nephew grow up all alone in this world, rejected by people, giving up hope even on himself. I cannot do that with my open eyes. He is my nephew.

No, I am not playing God, but I am working alongside with God, drawing on God's strength, comfort and help.

No, I am not playing God, but praying to God, and it draws me closer to God, knowing how small and powerless I am. Yet, our God is a powerful God.

Yes, my family is a priority and I will do my utmost to take good care of it, both J and Daddy, my two most beloved in my life. I will learn to take better care of myself and my health. However, there are price to be paid elsewhere, and I have to count the cost in other areas.

I cannot do this alone. I am very grateful that my family is a source of great support and comfort to me. I am very grateful to my employer for their kindness towards me.

I quote Dr. James Dobson who quoted from Time Magazine 1994 which is still relevant today:

"The psychological injuries are great (if the spirit of ADHD children are crushed). By ages five to seven, says Dr. Russell Barkley, author of Taking Charge of ADHD, half to two-thirds are hostile and defiant. By ages 10 to 12, they run the risk of developing what psychologists call "conduct disorder" - lying, stealing, running away from home and ultimately getting into trouble with the law. As adults, says Barley, 25 percent to 30 percent will experience subtance-abuse problems, mostly with depresssants like marijuana and alcohol. One study of hyperactive boys found that 40 percent had been arrested at least once by age 18."

The above should not serve to discourage us. But it means that we should really prioritize and realize the urgency and importance. It means that we should give attention to the care of children with ADHD. With loving and firm parenting, with proper care and support, they can grow up to be useful members of the society.

If you are a parent struggling with ADHD, there is hope. ADHD doesn't have to be a hopeless handicap, if we can learn to manage it, and if we can learn to teach our children to manage it. It requires a lot of patience. And we go and knee at the feet of our Lord Jesus to ask for patience. God does give it to us, and it is renewed every day - daily. When we fail, we get forgiveness and try again next day. But never never give up on your ADHD child.

The book "Why ADHD Doesn't Mean Disaster" written by Dr. Walt Larimore, Mrs. Diane Passno and Dr. Dennis Swanberg are well-qualified authors to tell us how to live successfully with the "disorder" and to explain how we can turn it into an asset, instead of wallowing in self-pity and despondent.

Dr. Swanberg and his son both suffered from ADHD, yet Dr. Swanberg managed to become a doctor. Mrs. Diane Passno has a daughter who has ADHD, but she has graduated with a degree in engineering.

It doesn't mean that JN has to be a doctor or graduate from engineering to be considered as successful, but it does means that there is hope to live with ADHD.

I quote Dr. James Dobson who quoted Dr. Paul Elliott, M.D. from the book:

"In my opinion, the ADD brain structure is not truly an abnormality. In fact, I believe a very good case can be made that it is not only normal, though in the minority, but may well be a superior brain structure. However, the talents of the person with ADD brain structure are not those rewarded by our society in its current stage of development."

You can find this book from Amazon and may it encourage you:


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