Saturday 28 November 2020


Encouragement for Your Marriage: A Princess of Grace is kind


A Princess of Grace is kind.

Extend kindness to your spouse, even when he/she doesn't deserve it. 

Kindness is love in work boots.

Kindness is an essential ingredient for a strong, healthy marriage.

To be a loving person is to be a kind person.

A kind person is someone who takes the initiative to actively and lavishly seek to bless another person.

What does kindness look like in a marriage?

Kindness is:

- a readiness to do good, 
- to help, 
- to relieve burdens, 
- to be useful, 
- to be tender, 
- to be sympathetic toward others.

What is the opposite of kindness in a marriage?

- rudeness,
- irritability
- resentment
- selfishness

There are essentially 3 elements of kindness:

1. Attitude
2. Words
3. Actions

How does having a right attitude toward your spouse look like?

The goal is to help your spouse to thrive, flourish and prosper in this life. I want you to be the person God created you to be. Even if it costs me something, I am ready to do what it costs me.

What does kindness look like in words to your spouse? For example,

- Tell your spouse, You are my no. 1 fan"
- Tell your spouse, "I am so proud of you."
- Tell your spouse, "You are God's perfect gift to me."

“Life and death are in the power of the tongue.” Proverbs 18:21

How does kindness look like in actions to your spouse? For example,

- Taking the initiative to reconcile after a fight.
- Knowing all the flaws of your spouse and accepts them unconditionally.
- Serving breakfast in bed on weekends.
- Walks your spouse to the door when he/she is going to the office.
- Stands at the door until he/she is pulled away in the car.
- Blow him/her kisses.
- Even when your spouse may not have made the best decision, you still honor him/her.

In the middle or after a fight, instead of choosing to be vindictive, instead of reminding your spouse of all that he/she has done wrong, or how he/she can make it better, if you are able to say to your spouse that he/she is God's perfect gift for you, you are responding with kindness.

Such a response is only possible through the power of the Holy Spirit of God in us. To be filled with the Holy Spirit/to walk in the Holy Spirit means that you spend time with God, you read His Word and pray to Him, you are aware of His presence, you are aware of His power in your life, and when you are empty, you go to Him to fill you up. You don't go to your spouse and ask him/her to fill up your love tank.

Remember, saying unkind things to your spouse in your marriage will never cause your love for each other to grow, it won't cause your marriage to thrive. We have to guard our hearts and our tongues and seek to speak words that are positive, encouraging and uplifting, words of loving kindness that bring life to another person.

The more you love your spouse the way love is supposed to look like, the better your marriage becomes. If your marriage has some rough spots, those start to get worked out as you start to do what the Bible says what we are supposed to do in how we love each other. Your marriage will move to a new place where love deepens, where you move deeper into oneness with your spouse, and you experience real joy that comes with doing marriage God's way - loving each other God's way.

The presence of kindness in a marriage is one of the best long-term predictors of marital success.


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