Saturday, 26 June 2010

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Practise couch time


Many a marriages drift apart because couples grow apart from each other unknowingly over the years... I must be on the watch... lest I fall.

In a busy everyday life, it is often hard to tune out the distractions... and for me they are Facebook, Friends, Favourite hobby, First baby, Food... how funny… they all start with the letter "F"! For others, it may be computer games, football, etc.

I must take time to invest, nurture and protect our marriage.

How?

One way of nuturing our marriage is to practise couch time as suggested by author Gary Ezzo in the book BabyWise.

Couch time – It is not about being a couch potato in front of the TV. It is about taking some time – 5-15 minutes daily to sit and talk with your spouse at the end of the day without the computer on, without the radio on, without the TV on, and no taking of phone calls. Thus, this time is sacred.

What do we do during couch time?

1. Gary Ezzo suggests discussing what is going on in the family and talk through the challenges or changes relating to the children.

2. Share about how the day go at work.

3. Gary Ezzo also suggests letting couch time provides a predictable forum for us to share our relational needs with each other.

This relational need is certainly very important to me. Many women’s love language is communication, and many men’s love language is activities. My Significant Other’s love tank is empty if we don’t go for a walk together in the forest or the lakes or play tennis together. My love tank is empty if we don’t get to just sit down and communicate.

3. Share items on your To-do list with each other

4. If not, just simply rest in each other's company.

But it is easier said than done. In a busy every day life, it is often hard to tune down the activities. So I try not to be so ambitious... just aim at 5 minutes a day. The most important is to have a plan.

For others, spending undisturbed time may be a once a month or once a week, but the important thing is to try to do it.

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