Thursday, 26 April 2012

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J Summary (3Y1M21D) - It Is Jesus, Him Who Was On the Cross

Daddy asked J, "What made you such a sweet and sensible boy?" J replied, "It is Jesus, Him who was on the cross." Daddy pondered. Quietly I hold this in my heart.

For a moment I thought J would answer, "It is Mommy, of course :-)." Then I could elicit praise and appreciation from Daddy and congratulate myself for having such a filial son, giving me credit for all my efforts. But J did not. For a moment, my heart sank a little with disappointment... oops, here I could see my pride reigning its ugliness.

But my heart floated straight back up again. It at least took away all the pressure from me. I am not the one who made J sweet and sensible. God did.

Of course, the glory belongs to God. J had rightly and wisely answered the question, far beyond my amazement. So simple, yet so correct, from a 3 year old, speaking straight into my heart. Yet so profound to be understood and made Daddy pondered for a moment (After note: Daddy forgotten everything by evening time and when we talked about the incident, apart from remembering that J mentioned something about Jesus this morning.... ok... the depth of human's memory! Which is why I am recording it down now furociously in my blog, to capture every bit of memory).

In case this painted a distorted picture of J as a sweet and sensible child all the time, it is not always the case. J is a human like all of us. He can be mischevious like all 3 year old, especially so now that he has started kindergarten!

On the other hand, if Daddy was to ask J, "What made you such a naughty and self-centred boy?" What would J have replied? I hope he would not say, "It is Mommy, of course :-)" But the truth is, it is me! However hard I try to be, I fall way too short as a human being, to be able to set J a good example. Wretched as I am, I am so full of faults - proud, stubborn, strong-willed, self-centred and typical Chinese, as the Singaporean saying goes, "die die also must save face". How can I as a mom exemplify my life to be full of grace? Each day I tried, each day I failed. I say or write things which I regretted afterwards. How can I be sensible, wise and gracious as a mom? I haven't reach there yet, and far from reaching there. It can be discouraging, but I have to learn from J saying, "Mom, it is Jesus. Look to the Cross, Him who was on the Cross, Mom". God hasn't given up on me yet. For He is giving me opportunties each day to try again. Hopefully the failing is lesser and lesser.

I learned a lot and have been reminded a lot from J's reply. It is like God repeating to me, "Elaine, apart from me, you can do nothing. And on the cross, Jesus has died and paid for your sins. You have been forgiven to try again, and again and again." This indeed is the message of the Cross.

I pondered more. It made me realized the significance and importance of our Church Nursery Class. I believe J had learned a lot from it, to which I am really thankful to the teachers and helpers. It also made me realize that I need to pray more for our Nursery Class and our Sunday School, as at some point the head knowledge is transferred to heart knowledge, and that is the work of the God that none of us could do. We could not claim the credit and it also takes the pressure off the teachers. But God is definitely using us as tools. We need to pray, as it pleases God to see our desire for the heart knowledge to occur in each and every child in the Nursery and Sunday School. We need to look to the Cross to equip us for our work.

The Bible says in John 15:5

"I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

Thank you J. What a privilege it is to be your mom and learn together alongside Daddy and you each day.

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