Wednesday 15 February 2012


How to Boost the Self-Esteem of an ADHD Child?

• The most important factor that will determine your child’s future success is his view of himself. That view is molded by you. If you support your child, build his self-esteem, and teach him to value his talents and uniqueness, then his ADHD can be to his advantage. However, if you allow school difficulties to define him as a failure, then your child will find it very hard to rise above that. Ultimately, it is how you teach your child to value his uniqueness that will make the difference for your child.

They are always battling the feelings of inferiority and incompetence. Kids with ADHD may feel like they aren't good at anything and can't seem to please anyone. Help your child find ways to excel.

1. Spend Time with Your Child

• A quality time together can help your ADHD child a lot. They will feel that they are not alone and that you love them. So have fun with your ADHD child.

• Tell your child that he is so important and valuable that it is worth me flying over from Denmark to spend time with him. So he should not feel low about himself.

2. Show your child examples of successful people with ADHD who have done well in life.

• Having ADHD is challenging, but there are those who are successful despite it (or even perhaps because of it?)

• Give your child positive examples of successful people with ADD (ADHD). There are now stories about famous athletes, Hollywood celebrities, politicians, comedians and business entrepreneurs with ADD (ADHD). For example, Quinn specializes in treating children and adults with ADHD. She has the disorder, as do three of her four children. She has consulted for pharmaceutical companies and has written numerous books about ADHD

• Success is not defined by what disorder one has but what a person can achieve with or without ADHD.

3. Help Your Child to Discover His Strengths and Find Ways to Excel

• The first step in trying to build self-esteem in a child with ADHD is playing to his or her strengths. "If a kid is struggling in school, try to find something outside of school that he or she can feel successful at," Dr. Kurtz says. Then, as the child gains more self-confidence, offer frequent reminders that he or she can be successful in school. Also, work with the child's teachers to continue to encourage him academically by playing to specific scholastic strengths.

• Your role is to encourage your child in areas where he demonstrates a special ability, whether it's in painting, a sport, or storytelling. Assuring a child he's good at something makes him feel valuable.

4. Focus on the Positive

• Get your child to write a list of everything they like about themselves, such as their good characteristics and things they can do.

• Get everyone in the family to write 3-5 things about what they like about Jeff.

• Stick it on the bedroom wall or in the kitchen, so it can be seen every day.

• Encourage your child to add to it regularly.

5. Make Your Child Feel Needed

• As you give them simple task at home, let them feel that they are needed and what they do is significant. With this, they will feel that they are important at home and what they do matter.

6. Set Realistic Goals and Find Things that Your Child Can Accomplish

• Ultimately self-confidence comes from having accomplished things worth being proud of.

• Set goals that are easily achieved and watch your child's confidence grow.

• Make tasks a joint effort: "I'll clean up with you," or "Let me be your clean-up assistant."

7. Give Encouragement & Constructive Criticism

• Encouragement is NOT giving compliments for work poorly done, but under those circumstances it IS inspiring your child to work harder and do better. Even failures can be outstanding learning experiences.

• Reserve Praise for things well done. Where Encouragement is given for effort, Praise is given for accomplishment. Just say, "That's a good start, keep at it," when the work is not yet worthy of praise.

• Say: "I believe in you. I see your effort. Keep going!" "You're trying very hard and you almost have it!" "You're right. Sophia is good at catching. And you're good at painting pictures."

• "I like the way that you did that," or "I know that you can do it," or, "It looks like you worked very hard at that."

• So, if your child is struggling with a piece of school work, don't say 'you're stupid', but 'I loved the way you read the first page. It's only a couple of words you're stumbling on. That word is…'

• Use positive statements to motivate your child and preserve his self-esteem. For instance, instead of saying, "Stop throwing a tantrum," say "Once you show me you have control over your body, we can talk about what you want."

• Try the 'sandwich approach,' also called the good/bad/good technique. For example, if you need to remind your child to follow directions, start out by offering him some good news: "You have a very special and wonderful way of seeing the world." Then bridge to what your child needs help with: "I noticed that you have trouble following directions and we're going to help you with that." Follow up with another positive: "I remember yesterday that you picked up your toys like I asked you to and I'm very proud of you."

8. Praise and Reward

• You need to make your child feel positive about themselves, so try and give praise wherever possible. This can be for large or small actions – for example if they have tried hard at school or helped clear up after a meal. As well as verbal praise, giving small rewards can highlight accomplishments. Praise can be a powerful motivator.

• Kids with ADHD also seem to benefit from seeing their successes accrue visually, so it helps to keep track of them on a chart. The gold stars they get serve as reminders that they can do well. You may even give your child a special treat after he earns a certain number of stars.

9. Teach Your Child Not To Be Afraid of Failures and Making Mistakes

• Fear of failure and low self-esteem keeps many children from putting effort into things, such as sports or homework, because they expect to fail.

10. Love and Trust

• Don't attach conditions to your love. Your child needs to know you love them no matter how they behave. Tell your child they are special and let them know you trust and respect them.

11. Sports and Hobbies

• Joining a club or having a hobby can build self-esteem. Depending on your child's interests, the activity could be swimming, dancing, martial arts, crafts or cooking. No matter what the hobby, your child will gain new skills to be proud of – and for you to praise. Sometimes children with ADHD will go off their activity, so be prepared to come up with new ideas.


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