Friday, 4 April 2014

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Date One-On-One (DOO) with Your Children



According to Stephen R. Covey, author of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families," besides Weekly Family Meeting Night (WFMN) and Weekly Family Fun Night (WFFN), Date One-On-One (DOO) with your children is very important.

DOO means time between one parent and one child where the child usually sets the agenda.

According to Stephen R. Covery, "DOO give you the opportunity to build that relationship, the Emotional Bank Account, so that you can teach."

Key:

1. Privacy - place with privacy
2. Be Present - physically, mentally and emotionally present
3. Listen
4. Choice - Let your child set the agenda

Benefits:

1. Reduce sibling rivalry
2. You get to nip problem in the bud.
3. Builds effective teaching, discipline and communication

The opposite is also true, according to Stephen R. Covey, when out of a sense of time pressure, one attempt to teach, discipline or correct when others are present, you will be amazed how ineffective you usually are. I quote from Stephen R. Covey:

"I am convinced that many children know what they should do, but their minds are not made up to do it. People don't act on what they know; they act on how they feel about what they know and about themselves. If they can come to feel good about themselves and about the relationship, they are encouraged to act on what they know."

4. Good habit with your adult children

One mom commented in the book "7 Habits of Highly Effective Families": I don't think there is any way I could have had this kind of one-on-one time with my son when he was 22 if we hadn't started doing it when he was younger. This relationship developed over the years with DOO with your child. It will make the transition much easier because you will have a friendship established already.

Ideas:

1. Monthly private interviews

2. Breakfast date

3. Seeing sunrise together

4. Share an ice-cream together.

5. Go fishing together.

6. Simply involve your child with your work

If money is an issue, you can still have one-on-one time with your child. When I was a child, my family was very poor. My father would bring my brother along as he went to repair things. In this way, my brother got to spend time one-on-one with my father. Till this day, my brother will tell me stories about their time one-on-one together.

Here are more ideas:

http://www.thebettermom.com/2014/03/02/5-kid-date-ideas/
http://www.thebettermom.com/2013/11/06/how-to-date-your-kids/
http://www.averyblendedfamily.com/2013/07/having-date-with-your-child.html

Leaving you with this quote:






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