Friday 8 June 2012


J Summary (3Y3M3D) - Mommy, I Like You, Because You Do School with Me

It has been a long day week at work. The schedule at home is haywire as a result. But I was glad that this evening, we managed to do school, after experimenting it yesterday evening. It didn't come without cost - and I am struggling to figure out how I could do so and still keep the family life in balance. Please pray for me for wisdom.

Daddy mentioned that the J's Bedtime Routine has dragged on longer and longer. I could not quite find a good way to explain. Finally, I understand why. J is growing, and there are more and more things to cover, before the real bed time. So, I have now renamed it School Time instead. I think that will go down better with Daddy, as he would then better understand what I am doing that is keeping J up, and that I am not wasting time. Still, it is a strange concept for Danes to do school with a 3 year old.

There is a fundamental cultural difference between the East and the West. It is very difficult for the West to understand the East. Vice-versa, it is very difficult for the East to understand the West. Both view education as very important, but it is viewed as TOP priority in the East. The East views education of their children as the ULTIMATE importance worth sacrificing ALL. Not to the same crazy extend in the West. This is seen in our home - being an East-West family. It is very difficult for Daddy to understand my craziness. I think I understand Daddy, but maybe I haven't quite understand him. I pray that Daddy will understand me more in this area, and that I will understand him better too through his cultural len.

The traditional Chinese mom will sacrifice her life - LITERALLY - for the education of her children. In this regards, I am the most traditional Chinese mom of all. I see myself as being poured out, my everything, for the education and development J. The day he is grown up, I will be all poured out and aged. And no, unlike other traditional Chinese, I don't expect anything in return from J. I don't expect any repayment. This is not how I view filial piety. I pour out myself willingly for J with no regrets.

Someone told me that I am paying too much, in terms of sacrifice, in order to do school with J. I would have nothing left for myself. And what about my own personal and professional development? For a working mom, time is so precious. After deducting work time, I do not have much time left. Whatever little time I have left, the majority is spent on J and his "schooling". I have no other choice. I am poured out. I accept it, if I no longer have personal or professional development. Tired as I am, yet I enjoy it so much. I don't have time to myself, yet school time with J is actually time to myself. It is a hobby and an enjoyment. It is a form of relaxation for me.

This evening for School Time, we did 1 Montessori-style activity, read 3 Chinese books, did 1 jigsaw puzzle (I suggested this and J completed the puzzle, which was rare! So it is worth to celebrate), did 5-6 pages of Chinese workbook, recited 3 Tang Dynasty Poems and...

This evening, for the real first time, J asked on his own initiative to do colouring, instead of me offering it to him. In fact, as it was getting late, I asked J to skip it. But J was persistent. So I let him try. And for the first time, he completed the colouring the whole picture with patience and sense of achievement. My perseverance has paid off. If your child does not like colouring. Don't give up. Keep continuing to encourage him. I told J that I am going to take his picture and take a photo, because I am so proud of him for taking the effort to complete his colouring, without any encouragement from me. He gave me a smile of gladness for the recognition I gave him, which I will never forget. That image is captured in my mind, and I want to remember it forever.

This evening, while putting J to bed, he said, "妈妈, 我喜欢你" meaning "Mommy, I like you." in Mandarin.

I asked, "为什么你喜欢我? meaning "Why do you like Mommy?"

He said, "因为你很可爱 :-)" meaning "Because you are very adorable :-)."

I asked, "为什么你觉得妈妈很可爱呢? 是不是因为我陪你做功课?" meaning "Why do you think Mommy is adorable. (Pause) Is it because Mommy did homework with you?"

He said, "是的" meaning "YES, YES."

Before as I left the room, he said again, "妈妈, 我喜欢你, 因为你陪我做功课." meaning "Mommy, I like you, because you spent time doing school with me :-)"

I feel so rewarded, that no matter how tired I will be, or how challenging it is to do school with Joshua, by hook or by crook, I will find a way, so that our special School Time can continue.

That means that I have to be even more efficient, even more organized, find more energy by exercising, so that I can squeeze out more time. I pray also for wisdom to strike a balance.

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