Tuesday, 30 November 2010

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The “No No No” phase of toddlerhood – How to get your toddler to cooperate without resorting to Time-Out?

J is at the "No No No" stage. Here is a summary of 10 ways to deal with it from http://www.babycenter.com/:

1. Make animal sound

For example, J refuses to brush teeth. Tell him to open his mouth and roar like a lion. He may not mind that you slip in the toothbrush and give his teeth a good brush while he roars.

2. Adult modeling

Without asking him to brush his teeth, just start brushing your teeth in front of him. He might just want to join in the crowd.

3. Fly him in

For example, J refuses to go to the bathroom, make it fun by “flying” him in.

4. Musical box

For example, if J refuses to go upstairs to bed, Daddy would put a musical box up there, and ask him to climb up and find it.

5. Give him a "carrot"

For example, when J says no to pick up his toys, ask “J, do you want to go out?” (He loves to go out). Then say: “Then you need to pick up your toys first”.

6. Give him a "stick" i.e. another choice that is less attractive than the one requested

For example, if the problem is taking a bath, tell J either he choose to take his bath and play with his toys, or go to bed. Usually the toddler would choose to take the bath.

7. Challenge him

For example, say “J, show mommy that J can do (xxx) all by himself”

8. Help him set a good example

For example, say "J, can you show your Teddy bear how you can set the table?" or "J, I need you to teach Teddy Bear the rules about mealtime." Or say, "J, let's team up with Teddy bear and help teddy bear to complete the task together!"

9. Count to 10

So that J is prepared and knows how much time he has. Make it fun by speeding up the count toward the end, and tell him that he did it in 8 seconds and encourage him to beat his record. If he still doesn’t move, either leave him, tell him he is missing his reward (example his favourite dessert) or tell him it is your turn to do it and that he has missed his chance.

10. Don’t bother to fight it

For example, J refuses to get dressed, say “Ok, then mommy will go and wash the dishes” and leave the room. Usually, the toddler would return and be ready for what it was asked of him.

References:
- http://www.babycenter.com/0_parents-say-getting-past-no_11981.bc?scid=momstodd_20101130:4&pe=2UyYa5h

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