Sunday 5 December 2010


How do you deal with arrogant people? Put a baby face on their faces

Two days ago, a friend shared with me her experience over lunch about her encounter with someone who was so arrogant. It reminded me of a similar experience in the past. It will surely come again... how am I going to deal with it?

Here is a list of suggestions on how to deal with arrogant people:

1. Relax and rest in your SELF-CONFIDENCE. Arrogant people behave as if I am worth nothing or invisible. But I am worth a lot and I certainly do not have to prove that to them :-)

2. Have SYMPATHY for that arrogant person. Usually arrogant people are also very insecure people. Thus, we need to sympathise with them. Very often too, arrogant people do not have many friends... for who want arrogant people as friends???

3. AVOID them... but sometimes this does not work

4. PRAY for them, as suggested by my friend Daniel Oblak

What should I pray for?

I pray that I will pray for them, no matter how much I don't feel like praying for them. I pray that I will have sympathy for them. I pray that God will be their source of security, so that they can abandon their arrogance.

5. Run to GOD for counsel and comfort

What did God say to me? He led me to James 1:2-4 in the Bible:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish it work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." - James 1:2-4

He said, "My dear Elaine, you can't really know the depth of your character until you see how you react under pressure. It is easy to be kind to others when everything is going well, but can you still be kind when others are treating you unfairly? You want J to grow up to be a man of character, right? So now I am working on your own character first :-)"

Ouch! God wants to make me mature and complete, not to keep me from all pain. Instead of complaining of my struggles, I should see it as opportunities for growth.

6. Be KIND to them

God put me right back face-to-face with them and let me bump into them in my daily life so that I can practise character building... and learn to be kind to them... ouch ouch ouch... (which is why solution 3 doesn't always work all the time!)

7. How to be kind to them? Put a BABY face on their faces

For me, I imagine the face of J on their face. When I am fuming mad to think of even being kind to them, seeing babies and J makes my heart melt... and helps me to treat unkind people with kindness. For then, I don't see their face, I see the face of a child who needs love and care... :-)

And that is also it. Arrogant people are also children of God. And God loves them too with an unconditional love that He gives to us. To God, each of us is a special child of His.

Ok God, I will try again. If I fail today, I will try again tomorrow... Alrighty... I will persevere on... for the sake of refining my character...

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