How to get your carefreeness back?
Recently, I noticed that my carefreeness has disappeared… and in place of it, there seems to be a feeling of heaviness, a feeling of insecurity, a feeling of wanting to please others, a sense of being unsatisfied… I can’t quite put a finger to why I am feeling this way.
Here are some tips from my QT with God how to deal with it:
1. ANALYZE why you are feeling this way
I sat down and analyzed why I was feeling this way… and I realized that feelings of jealousy, bitterness and discontentment have subconsciously crept in silently and suddenly into me without me knowing, and that has taken away my carefreeness and joy.
I began to analyze further... What is it that I am jealous and bitter about? I continued my analysis... As I got out of my wonderful and sheltered maternity leave of one year, I began to enter the real world. I begin to notice the injustice and unfair things going on in the big world out there and also in my own little world (they have been there all these while, but I have shut them out as I have enjoyed Joshua so much for the last one year free from work). I am now being exposed to what the world is going after… more wealth, more success, better job, better quality of life, more material things… and I am seeing people who get all these things, some through fair means and some through unfair means. Thus, without knowing it, I am beginning to feel jealous and bitter about it. I begin to be ambitious for myself towards all these things. Having ambitions are good, but having SELFISH ambitions are bad. For the last one year, I have set myself a single targeted goal of being a good mother, for the benefit of Joshua. That is an example of good ambition. Suddenly, I find myself being ambitious to get more and more. That may not be a good ambition.
The Bible says:
“For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” – James 3:16
The world is unfair, and I have better learn to deal with it, for as a mother, I will have to teach Joshua how to deal with injustice in the world in the right way. Dealing with injustice that happened to myself with bitterness was not the right way.
Here is what I think is the right way of dealing with injustice:
- Injustice that happens to me - When injustice happens to me, I should not feel bitter. Catch yourself quickly and nip it at the bud.
- Injustice that happens to others – I should help these people whenever an opportunity presents itself. If it is within my area of responsibility, I should make sure that I am not the one who has been unjust to them if. If it is something that is not within my decision ability, such as the sufferings of the world out there that is really beyond my means to change, then I should pray for them.
2. CONFESS to God and seek forgiveness
After analyzing why my carefreeness has suddenly disappeared, I humbled myself and acknowledged these sins to God. I confessed to God sincerely and sought His forgiveness for these sins in my life. I asked God to help me change and overcome them. Only God can forgive sins and help us to overcome the sins in our lives. With my own efforts, it will be futile. God knows your sincerity and your willingness to change, and God also knows your weakness.
3. COUNT your blessings
This is mentioned in all my posts, and I come back again and again to it to remind myself. When bitterness creeps in, it is also because discontentment has crept in. I should not be complacent, but I also should not be discontented. I have so many blessings in my life, and they are really overflowing that I can share them with others... I am indeed fortunate and I should be thankful. This helps me to banish away the feelings of jealousy and bitterness, and in its replacement, feelings of kindness, thankfulness and carefreeness returned to me.
4. Be PATIENT with yourself
I know that this change is not overnight. Caustic feelings may still return to me, and I should not feel discouraged if I sin again. I should acknowledge my sin again, confess it to God, and with God’s help overcome it on a daily basis. That is why it is so important for me to have QT with God every day. Every day is a chance for me to come to God to surrender myself and to let God take over in the molding of my character. Hopefully, such polishing and hard work will also help me to be a better mother to Joshua.
Now I know how to teach Joshua how to deal with injustice in the world and the feelings of bitterness :-)
Now I got my carefreeness back :-) Yipee... i am happy like a bird... or like Snoppy again :-)
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